In the past, I have told L that she is the most stubborn person I've ever met. I've also told her that she is spiteful. She didn't get angry at me, she took it in stride, because the comments were specific to actions she had taken. When I pointed it out, even she agreed. But it didn't change how she reacted in the future.
Last week, I picked up L, then swung by P's work to go out for his b'day. L and I were in the car alone for about 30 minutes. Like our drives together in the past, I chatted about silly things, she laughed and contributed, bringing up additional details and new situations. Granted, she was more subdued than when she's with friends, but she talked, responded, participated.
Of course, when we picked up P, she clammed up. Later he made a comment about her probably just listening to CDs while in the car with me. No, I told him, she talked, b/c I'm not her father. She has made P out to be the heavy and P doesn't deserve what she serves him. I get some of the same from my son; it is a custodial parent issue in part. Custodial parents have to worry about wardrobe, eating habits, sleeping habits, grades, extracurricular activities, positive/negative friends, etc... We may be parents, but we're still human. It is a thankless job.
During our drive, L and I got talking about cake and icing. She said that at the birthday celebration of P's previous girlfriend's son a few years ago, he didn't want his cake so L asked if she could have more. She said the icing was so good, that she ate half the cake. Ahhhh, the pleasure of icing! So then I asked her why she had eaten none of her birthday cake this summer? I'd come over, saw the cake on the coffee table. P finally put it in the fridge, throwing the whole thing away a week or so later. She said that her grandmother had come over during the day for her b'day and she was mad at her grandmother, so she didn't want a cake from her, no matter how good the icing might have been. L is just plain spiteful, hardheaded, stubborn, narrow, selfish, should I stop now?, I could just keep listing, on and on, on and on. Unfortunately she and I share the same birthday; I fear that this is how my birthday is going to be for a while.