Dear NetFlix,
I have little life right now, but I'm trying hard to carve myself a place. I conscientiously plan for Wednesday night visitations like tonight and the bi-monthly/upcoming long, lonely weekend. Occupying myself at a price I can tolerate involves your service. I truly depend on you to help me make my life better. And to deliver a sweet slice of Jason Lee for my personal enjoyment and viewing pleasure in the privacy of my own home. Please devise a better way for Jason to arrive, not all cracked and shattered. He wasn't happy about it and it was traumatic for me to see him that way.
I look forward to receiving Mumford at your earliest convenience. And that better be pretty fucking soon.
Most sincerely,
Cricket Cricketson
PS - USPS received a similar letter, as I realize you are co-conspirators in the blemishing of the perfect Jason.
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3 comments:
If they have a brain, they'll know you just lowered a pretty heavy boom on them! But they may not have one.
It's ears I suspect they don't have.
Ah yes, the dreaded broken disk. Now - I dearly love Netflix but I think it would be nice (and save them money for replacing broken disks) if their envelopes were more than a single sheet of paper folded in half. About 1 in 8 disks I get are broke - I just had another this week. What pisses me off even more though is when the nearest shipping center is 45 miles from my house - yet some of the movies I order come from HI and TX and CA and it takes 4 days to get here. FOUR DAYS... those are the ones that are usually broke.
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