Thursday, September 27, 2007

Cleaning house

I've actually been doing it. Amazingly. Piles are going into bins and I've purchased more bins. I am throwing crap away.

I am also finding crap.

I am including it here because it is my record. I am not upset or hurt, not particularly. Seeins how P's been married for a year next week, well, it's time I'm over it.

But I still must record it.

This is what he wrote in my valentine last year. He'd been cheating on me for three weeks by then...

Cricket,
You are truly a great mother, lady, friend, confidante, and my angel. I
love you more than words can express.
All of my love,
P

He fucked me that morning. I think he did her that evening.

About 4-6 weeks later after he'd been with her for about two months, out of the blue he hand delivered me this note:

Hi My Beautiful Sweetheart,

As you read this, you need to know how much I love you. You are my best
friend, my confidante, my biggest supporter, my angel in every sense of the
word. You have, in the last year plus, become the true love of my life. The one
person that I can rely on to be, at times, brutally honest with me when I need
it. To be loving and true to your feelings when I need that as well. I know that
you feel the same way about me and sometimes I can't believe how lucky a person
I really am to have you in my life. I want you forever and can't imagine a life
without you in it.

I'm happy and honored to call you my love.
P


Remember, this was a few months after my blow up at Xmas. He's saying I was right to express my concerns. He's also saying that I was still the love of his life, his forever mate, regardless of me having broken up with him and "shattered" him so.

A few months ago, I would have lamented this. Hard. I cannot say I am completely without hurt now, but I can say my first and gut reaction is:

YOU FUCKING LIAR. YOU'RE GOING TO HELL FOR THE LIVES YOU WRECK.

There, I feel a little better. I still cannot believe how duped I was. I don't think I am alone in the duping. Poor Shancy.

5 comments:

Ron Southern said...

Oog. You make me a little nervous about ever again trying to do any impressive sweet-talking... If you stop me from lying, I guess that's a good thing, but if you just make me too nervous about ever blowing smoke again...? God, who knows. I am probably as untrustworthy as I ever was. Better not give me any chances.

It's not your fault, but your stories are sometimes disenchanting.

Melissa said...

You could always mail them back to him and her? hee hee

DD said...

Ooooh, Melissa, great idea!

P was a serious way of a sperm holder, wasn't he?

Well-heeled mom said...

I am at a loss for words. I don't know how a person can function when their life is so twisted.

brite69 said...

That right there is one of the biggest reasons I find it so difficult to trust men. The vast majority will put into writing all the things they know you want to hear, regardless of whether or not they actually mean them. I was going through some of my things and came across letters my ex-husband wrote me while he was in the ARMY. While he was fucking his "friend". They don't hurt me anymore, though. They just make me feel stabby.