Monday, January 14, 2008

Reasons to lose


I want to be clear about some things. There are practical reasons for me wanting to lose weight beyond aesthetics or (cough) health, because neither are really my priority. I know, I'm warped. Granted, I am only a size 16-18/1X, so I don't have a lot of the problems having to do with excessive weight, but here are some of my issues. Read at your own risk. They are not attractive.

The reasons I want to lose weight:
  • I want to wear those clothes in the back of the closet, particularly the cruise dinner dresses.
  • I am tired of my muffin top creeping up and choking me like a pillow from my step mother.
  • I want my feet to hurt less.
  • My thighs! The chafing!
  • I want my arms to not feel so short.
  • It'd be nice to possibly wear heels again.
  • I don't want my underwear to be used to put out a fire.
  • I want better balance.
  • (It relates to wiping my ass.)
  • I hate the sweat under my double chin when I look down.
  • I want to bend over and not feel like my innards are going to blow.
  • I want to go bowling and not have to overcompensate to get my arm around my hip.
  • I want less junk in the junk area so that I fit better sexually, particularly because I only seem to attract midget microdicked men.
  • Large clothing takes up too much space in the closet, drawer, and suitcase.
  • I want to be able to roll over in bed and not have to reposition the stuff that didn't complete the journey.
  • This being between clothing sizes means nothing fits.
  • I want it to be easier to clip and occasionally paint my toe nails.
Now (drumroll) I can proudly announce that I am down 2.0lbs since January 1. For my primary goal of 10lbs by March 17, which is 11 weeks total, I am 20% of the way in 18% of the time.

Keep it up, girlie. Slow and steady wins the race.

9 comments:

Becky said...

Congrats! That's a stellar weight loss! Any tips?

Val said...

Your loss = my gain
I publicly deny any possible connection to the salty Chex mix I ate last night...
But I was back to the gym today; they re-arranged all the equip so the TM's are facing the mirrors -- I cringed!
However, from across the room my silhouette didn't look TOO gargantuan...
35 min, 2.32 mi

not said...

LOVE the list!! Many made me laugh right out loud...not because they're funny but because I can relate!

Congratulations on the progress. Slow and steady wins the race and keeps it off!!!

Melissa P. said...

Microdicks?
You are hilarios!!
You go girl with you weight!

evil-e said...

Keep it up....it's not easy but it can be done. Rah rah!

brite69 said...

Congrats! Your reasons match a lot of mine, though I haven't been able to find much motivation.

Mrs. Big Hairy Woman said...

Over the years I flipped flopped all over regarding weight gain.. and now I'm trying (my damndest) to lose 10 lbs... I have the old muffin top too and in a size 14-16 (depending on the cut)it's embarassing and unsightly.. My hubby says he still loves me....But that is not the reason for wanting to lose the weight.. I've lost it before (got preggers) and have lost a couple of inches in the last while but not enough for me to feel better about myself... Good luck with your goal.. keep us posted...

Well-heeled mom said...

That's awesome!

I have 5 to 10 pesky pounds that I'd like to drop, and it ain't as easy as it used to be.

Debbie Does Nothing said...

Great post. Right now my goal is to get back down to a size 16. I go up and down 2-3 pounds from one day to the next. It's hard to get motivated but I think I'm going to copy your list and tape it to my refrigerator.