Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Sexual favors

First, check out Stuff on My Cat. Memphie was featured wearing many of my hairbrushes! Go say how handsome he is.

On to today's feature...

Monkey guys pay for sex. They groom the female, then light candles and offer back rubs and foot massages.

It influences rates of sex per hour, the number of occurrences almost tripling after some good foreplay grooming.

I remember back in my married days that would happen with little a different spin. How many of you put out if he takes out the trash, makes a dinner, cleans the kitchen, builds a deck, doesn't fart all evening?

We had a secret code: clean sheets. Nothing feels better than clean sheets, well, besides getting them dirty. Ex would change the sheets if he was feeling amorous. Mr. Inhibited certainly couldn't otherwise verbalize his desires, but cotton spoke loudly for him.

What about you? What chores, tasks, or achievements have you doling out favors? Does the level of the doling coincide with the difficulty of the task? Or do you just have good signals?

9 comments:

DD said...

He shaves.

Cricket said...

Gosh, I guess that makes you easy.

If I were to say something task-oriented about P, it would be, "He got into bed."

Yeah, that makes me easy, too.

Val said...

Ha ha ha -- would you believe that was Ex's signal too???
I try to make the joke w/P when HE gets around to changing the sheets, but he won't take the bait. (I think he's offended; I never should have clued him in to that little factoid ;-)

orodemniades said...

We make a date. And, um, he shaves. Heh.

Anonymous said...

Pedicure.

Karen@stiletto

Cricket said...

So a couple where he grooms himself and one where he grooms you, ya monkeys!

Val, cannot believe the sheet thing with your ex. You'd think poor P would exchange some ego for getting lucky.

brite69 said...

Heh. My ex was horrible with "bargaining", as he put it. He wouldn't do a damned thing around the house, but would tell me that if I put out, he'd do it. It got to a point that I couldn't leave the house with out having to put out. Made me feel like a whore - and NOT in the good way. :-/

greg and I don't barter. We just jump each other. :-)

Becky said...

Depressingly enough, I do the cat boxes for him so that I get laid. Talk about role reversal.

evil-e said...

Me and my Renee know each other pretty good now and the signals are loud and clear from both camps.

We do on occasion, however, like to take "wink, naps, wink"...