I remember being four and having a hot pillow. My face couldn't handle it and my brain could not shut up about it. As a solution, I would begin in one corner of the pillow and gradually work my head across and around, a couple minutes on each of the eight squares I'd mentally divided my pillow top into. After those eight spots got hot, I'd flip over the pillow and begin on that nice, cool side.
This is some serious organization for a four year old, who should have been out cold and not even aware of having a hot pillow. Instead, I'd do this for a few hours.
I was always a hard wake up in the mornings. I remember standing daily for 30 minutes in front of my closet, unable to focus enough to choose a dress for school. My mother used to quip that I needed a solid nine hours of sleep. Little did she understand, as she was asleep the second her head hit the pillow, that there were reasons for me being so slow in the morning.
Many people suffer from insomnia like this. I found out another scouting parent has the same problem, only he hasn't been so lucky as to find the proper med for himself. He kinda melted when I said that Seroquel gives me a solid eight or nine hours, although I do take a lower dosage to save money and to reduce the high blood sugar risk; it also could have been a contributing cause to my tremor last fall. But can you tell how desperate I am? How desperate all insomniacs are?
Today, an opinion piece in the LATimes struck a chord: Can insomnia kill? In essence, the answer is, "Yes." Because the measure of everything in LA is celebrities, the writer mentions a number of probable sleep-related deaths from Health Ledger to Anna Nicole Smith to Elvis to Marilyn Monroe. New to me, even Eminem and Drew Barrymore talk about their sleep issues.
I don't think insomnia is taken seriously by the general population and the negative effects of it aren't understood. Gayle Greene, the author, points out that there are hotlines to call if you're depressed or have restless legs, but there's no such help for the insomniac.
Isn't that an irony? An insomniac could man lines for fellow insomniacs?