Little bits

As I was getting J off to school yesterday, he was pulling odd papers out of his backpack from the day before. One was a social studies test, 20/22, A. We'd studied hard for that one before Thanksgiving.

The other was a math test, 14/24, U which = F. He had not even looked at it since receiving it, assured that he had a good grade like usual. There was a sticker for me to sign it. J was gobsmacked. "But I'm good at math," he declared, incredulous. After signing it, I wrote, "Is there something he can do to make this up?" "Yeah, yeah, write that, Mom. Write that."

He's never failed a test before. I don't quite know what to do. It isn't the easiest thing in the world getting him to do math homework, but he does okay. Maybe he'll be a little more motivated now, although he did get B on his last report card. Now I have to wonder if he should not be in gifted math. The test was just multiplication and division, stuff he definitely knows. If you could only see how neatly and carefully it was done. He desperately does not want to be a bad student. I cannot punish him.

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Last night I went to see Dan in Real Life. It was supposed to be a feel good movie with a happy ending. While better than something like The Family Stone because it had the good graces to not to be set at Xmas, it was still a little too 'perfect family' for me - we all love/hate each other so we can ultimately hate/love each other - and we offer/accept lectures from one another because we really communicate/listen. Okay, I'm jealous. I'd love to be in a family that accepted me and my feedback, introverted social retard that I am, people who cared enough to speak up.

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Today will be an entertaining day. We are going to be in a parade with the Cricketson clan. It is only our second year marching, so we're encouraged to invite other warm bodies to join us. Last year, Norma and her son came. This year, they can't, but - get this - ex, his wife, their 2yo and her 17yo, plus Boomer/Boumer, the Sheltie, will be coming. It certainly extends the definition of family, but I guess it is in a good, healthy thing for J.

When I mentioned it to my psychiatrist yesterday, she asked how I felt about the crowd and I replied, "The more the merrier." Then she pressed, knowing me, "And the two year old?" I could honestly say that I got much of that reconciled this summer somehow. Or the toddler did it for me and de-iced my cold heart. The little girl has such a bright smile and is so friendly and engaging that I cannot help myself. She likes me! When she reaches for my hand, it melts my being. Sometimes I find myself lost and gazing at her in awe, then I suddenly get blisteringly angry at ex for denying me that, but I don't hold it against her anymore. I've grown a little.

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I got a little card in the mail yesterday. It's a simple thing most folks take for granted, the jiffy way my OB's office notifies about paps. Turns out mine is normal and I don't need to go back for 12 months. Normal is a very nice thing after not-so-normal with lots of follow ups. Now I can cruise for a while. Gladly.

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I went a little crazy ordering Xmas for J after Thanksgiving. I got some extra things to give him later for our drive down on the cruise, too. Much is coming from Amazon, but it isn't really Amazon. Seems they've outsourced their stock, which means you pay shipping from all seven of the suppliers that you inadvertently ordered from. I wish this had been more clear as I was placing the order. More would have been on the Toys R Us order instead. And then these "Amazon" purchases wouldn't be arriving one at a time, which I am finding irritating as well. It's a huge waste of boxes and shipping. It's just not green.

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I got a Xmas present a little early. The other night, J and I went for pizza. He'd decided in advance that we'd get the Greek pizza, he of the pepperoni persuasion usually. He was quite pleased with himself, thinking it big of him to request what ol' Ma would want. When asked repeatedly as his pride spilled over, I replied that it was really special that we could share something together that we both like and that he was being very considerate about it. He beamed as I confirmed what he already knew. He's maturing and less selfish. Gosh, he is a great kid, even if he failed that damn math test.