When J left with his step mother this evening, I had to tell her that J should be coming back at 5 on Sundays instead of Monday mornings. I told her that ex had written me some very inappropriate, critical, and dismissive stuff, plus he'd blown off concerns about J.
She said what anyone would say - the written word can be flat and misunderstood, that I should respond, "I heard this. Is this what you meant?" To her response, I could immediately quote the end of his message, which said he knew I would be mad, but that wasn't his intention. I told her that nobody can send a message like that and truly expect sugarcoating at the end to make it all better.
It seems she is finally realizing that she has a different husband that I had and stated the same happened with her ex-husband. Mine was an asshole, who said nasty things to me and I was not allowed a rebuttal. She shook her head so many times, saying she would never allow not having a voice. With him, I was cut off at the knees, not allowed to respond when he spouted off about politics or anything else, as my response would be construed as challenging him.
So, I bit my tongue with him. I have crafted a long response, but I don't know if I can send it. It makes me cry, but he still has me trained that I am not allowed to speak up.