Today would have been my 22nd wedding anniversary.
It is also the 3rd anniversary of my engagement to P. He said he was claiming the day for himself, superseding all else, but actually it was the only weekend he was without his daughter for 15 months and it was a large measure of convenience. Little did I know.
I used to like being married near a holiday. It guaranteed a day off of work. Ex liked it, too, and his first date of marriage to new wifey was supposed to be Memorial Day five years ago. Funny, our divorce wasn't final until May 31, so they sort of jumped the gun on that one. Instead, they wisely skipped the 4th and got married at Labor Day.
So this is the day I dread all year, more than any other. I am pissed at two men who refused to try to make it work and as a result wanted to make it all revolve around them. Mostly, today I'm pissed to be alone, although I do not want to be with either of them.
I spoke to Lyd on the phone yesterday as we attempt to do the friend thing and she spontaneously wished for me to find somebody who suits me, as she correctly surmised that she needs to find a circus freak. I replied that I really don't see that happening for me. I told her about the day before, when I complained to Norma about a guy IMing me from the dating site; he would reply with two words and I was trying to make a conversation around it; chicks always have to do all the work and I do not cotton to it. As she's mentioned before, Norma said that I need to be with a woman, as I don't speak guy-ese very well, that I expect too much from guys.
Yeah, on some level I expect some guys who got married or engaged to me to still stick around. Silly me.
Sorry for the wallow. I need some more sleep, I think.