Sunday, February 10, 2008

Cross-eyed, ponytailed, toe licking thief

Alone, either the picture or the copy, would have been too good to be true. Together they are a goldmine of (inappropriate? you tell me) laughter.



Toe-Licking Robber Sentenced To Probation
Man Gets Five Years Probation


MINNEAPOLIS -- A man was sentenced Wednesday to five years probation for robbing a woman of her keys and cell phone, then licking her toes.

Carlton Jermaine Davis, 26, was warned that he faces 21 months in prison if he fails to complete his probation.

According to a criminal complaint, Davis approached the woman around 1 a.m. on Sept. 9 as she was leaving work and forced her to put her phone and purse inside a bag.

Then he told her, "Now I'm going to suck your feet."

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you find this on Fark??

I swear, just when you think you've seen it all...

Anonymous said...

It's got to be from The Onion. Right?

Oh. my poor city.....

Cricket said...

This actually came from a local tv station's website under their 'news of the wierd' section. It came out probably a week ago, but I could not get the image of this man out of my mind.

Anonymous said...

thank you Cricket,
I always need a good laugh.

Cricket said...

I researched it some more on Google. There are lots of news outlets with the same story, but very few using a picture - for example, a Twin Cities tv station: http://www.kstp.com/article/stories/s339044.shtml?cat=1

brite69 said...

*dies*

That's freakin great! The picture, that is. I'm completely sqicked out by the toe sucking.

dmarks said...

Guy looks like Coolio.

The funniest robber thing I remember involving bank robbers was the Homer Simpson Bandit. This was a few years ago. I think it was in the Canadian maritimes.

The police described the bank robber as a man who looked like and sounded like Homer Simpson.

Not only do you have to imagine a real man looking like that, but imagine some guy who apparently went around going "D'oh" and "Woohoo" all the time and had that silly cartoony voice.

I think they did catch him.

Well-heeled mom said...

This guy just gives me the creeps. I don't know if I'd ever recover from having him suck on my toes.