Grand plans

Tomorrow is Blog365's day of rest, my free day off of blogging for the year. I will be enjoying it.

The only thing is that it conflicts with my grand tales of our exploits tonight.

This is a sneak peak. Imagine me in all my Clinton and Stacy glory along with my own little redheaded rag-a-muffin.

Before my writing break, which feels so odd to contemplate, I would like to thank you for the many comments of my weighty pictures post. I really appreciate the ones saying I'm beautiful at any weight. With my Body Dysmorphic Craziness, I have a very hard time seeing that. I remember feeling blubbery fatness at 114 when I was 27 or even when I was 104 at 15, still called Bubble Butt. It's not a media thing; it's the way I'm wired. My perceptions make no sense. I feel good at no weight. I am not comfortable in my skin. I can't change that, but I can change my weight anyway.

Becky, good luck as your thyroid journey continues. I don't have any theories on getting meds to work quicker. Just don't push it and overdose.

And I would be remiss if I didn't follow up my previous Sarah Silverman post, although I am already late about it. Sarah was fucking Matt Damon to get at her boyfriend, Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy's turned the tide. Who else would he fuck but Ben Affleck? How could he make it more impressive than to do it "We are the World" style (with some McLovin, even) and have Harrison Ford flirting on the sidelines.


(I'm sure there's a non-beeped version out there someplace, but I can't find it.)

And just because he's a big, fat copycat, Seth Rogen wants to be fucked, too. Okayyyyy, but I draw the fucking line at Jonah Hill.

I'm sorry. This ran the gammet from Annie to Superbad. Poor taste indeed.

Oops, cancellation

Yup, no date tonight.

Last evening, he called to postphone as I was simultaneously trying to give a heads up about canceling.

I'd thought him crazy to ask to cook for me tonight considering the projects he's doing for law school next week. Told him so as he was canceling, so I don't think he felt too badly. He spoke of his tendency to over extend. He rescheduled for next Wednesday, which is promptly after his second mock trial next week. If it were me, I'd want to come down from that by drinking or napping. I'm complimented he wants to celebrate it with me by kindly preparing dinner. I have an inkling that it'll be a little awkward with so much time between dates, but I figure that will pass.

The reason I was putting him on notice and potentially canceling is that the two year old has strep. Not only do I need to worry about J having caught it over the weekend, I have to be concerned about exposure to her tonight during visitation. She'll have been on antibiotics for exactly 24 hours, though, and I think that's the all's clear window. I also think it was caught early, after a rash and fever but before throat involvement. J rarely gets sick and he never seems to catch the daycare crud she brings home.

Ex called yesterday, twice even, and is located hundreds of miles to our west. He is temporarily attached to a Latin group (he'll be such a gringo, but I told him he'll come home and pimp the van with a PR flag on his rear view and he chimed in that he'll make it a low rider), who he half way expects to stay attached to. They are going to live in a tent in the snow for a few weeks for a field exercise. Mmm, fun. After, he's supposed to get a four day pass, so he'll come home once again - our cruise is three weeks out, so I'm hoping that doesn't overlap. The group he's supposed to get attached to is in TX, but is from around here. Ex's (and the government's) tune has changed and ex will be only months from retirement when he returns, so he plans to volunteer with the unit for a spell. Do you know how thrilled I am to be able to anticipate retirement/healthcare when I reach 65? It seemed too much to hope for; I am cautious and fear they'll change the rules again. It has been a frustrating journey.

Okay, I got busy and let this sit all day. Turns out, Glenn would like to do something smaller scale tonight, but I splurged on some Chinese because J will be gone. Hence, I'm done with food. We had a nice conversation instead. He actually said something funny, which was a good sign. Humor was the only thing I felt lacking. Of course, I'm me and I crack myself up, but I want to be cracked up, too. Seems that maybe he does have that in him.

Now to get this post up finally.

Ever so painful

Yesterday, evil-e and his oh so evil self asked what I look like now versus the 115 range pictured yesterday.

Nothing is so easy for me to explain succinctly, so I will show my highest weight from 2-2.5 years ago. Whenever I gain weight, it is usually due to introducing a new psych med. I have a hair trigger appetite center. I balloon up and it is not my fault getting there, but it is my unfortunate responsibility to eventually get it off again.



Frightening. That was about 30 lbs ago, then I started treating (Synthroid) my thyroid. Over the next year, I lost 30 pounds. This is how I looked a year ago.

That's what I weigh now, too, although in the mean time I'd put on 15 pounds, again because of my thyroid, this time a paradoxical gain because of overdose status (Levoxyl) for many months.

I was very lucky losing that 30 pounds due to the thyroid treatment, because I could do what I wanted and eat whatever. How often does that happen? With this 15 pounds I've lost since last fall, it has all been work by me. I have no lofty goals of weight loss with this latest thyroid medicine (Armour begun slowly in December) and figure that any raise it gives me in metabolism is just gravy.

An added bonus of me losing weight on my own is that I am not pressing myself to go to higher thyroid dosages. I've had at least two significant thyroid overdoses and that were partly my fault in my desire to lose weight. I was so greedy. Presently, I am for merely not having cold feet/hand/nose.

Now to get to my realistic goal weight, which is about 20-25lbs below where I am. I have gone from a size 20 to a 16 and I would be very happy as a 12. The last time I was there was eight years ago after I'd lost my baby (and more) weight in an email weight loss challenge with other new mothers in which I had continuous weekly losses for nine months.

(photos removed)

Man, that's brave, posting bathing suit shots. As you can tell, it is about 35lbs above what I showed yesterday, but it is much more realistic for me now.

My, what a painful journey. I am not good as visualizing weight or weight change, so I default to think of weight in 10lb sacks of flour. I can see where there are some sacks of flour missing from me and writing this post actually made me feel better about where I am and where I need to go.

Lighter, built for speed

Monday morning = weigh in

It is funny that my old scale measured in 0.5lb increments and this one weighs in 0.2. It made it hard to mesh in my never ending OCD exactitude when I would make it past that half pound mark I began with - say for giggles that was 126.5 but I can no longer weigh in 0.5s. Last Friday, after losing two extra pounds with the new scale, I was at 0.6 (or 116.6, hehe), so that meant I could not declare 10lbs yet.

I have resolved to resolve to graciously accept those two less pounds this scale has granted me (unless, perhaps, it was a real loss due to an ebb in PMS symptoms) and can gladly say that I am down to the 0.2 mark today, for a loss of 10.3lbs. And I most certainly weigh 116.2 like I did in HS and when I was a newlywed.

(photo removed)

Exhibit A

If you didn't follow that, don't worry. It is meaningless, really. I merely consider myself over the 10lb mark, which is actually over 15 considering last fall. Now I need to set a new goal. Maybe 10 more pounds by Mother's Day, which is in about 10 weeks. Let me think on it.

The not very dirty dirt

It went well, better than I anticipated. He has a bigger heart and is a better listener than I'd judged over the phone. He's less lawyer-y than I'd thought, seemed to jump to fewer conclusions, even though he'd said that was a fault. It boils down to me not being a good phone person, I believe.

I think I talked too much, but then he didn't interrupt like he did on the phone. I can be quiet and a good listener, but I have a fault in that I don't ask enough questions. It isn't that I am disinterested; it's that I let things flow and figure others will do the same, divulging when they feel the time is right. Well, that's wrong because many people want to be asked and that isn't in the forefront of my nature; I am better at commenting and conversing. So I will make a big effort to ask more questions.

We met someplace that the parking is good and he waited there with some coffee. I was surprised at first; he was wearing jeans with a jeans shirt and a leather jacket. With Clinton and Stacy whispering on my shoulders, I'd spent $550 at the Macy's sale the night before, even bought a dress wool coat, so we were the odd couple. I came to realize how his dress suits him; he's from the SW. It makes sense. Equally, my dress didn't suit the real me. Damn that Clinton and Stacy.

We walked downtown, which was longer than his estimation. (Even after a mile each way in boots, my pathetic feet don't hurt today, so that's a good sign.) He goes to this area to eat a lot and listed some restaurants as we headed that way. I wanted to go to the tapas place, because my old favorite tapas place closed last year. Love me some ceviche! (And it's even good for my diet.) So we walked by many restaurants to get there, but it was worth it.

We had a very engaging conversation, stayed long after dinner was over. We walked back to my car and gosh it was cold. With my 'coat with a good silhouette,' I didn't want to cram gloves to store in the pockets and my hands suffered from that lack of preparation.

We'd gone out early, at 6 because I wanted it to still be light as I drove someplace new, so we were finished early, too. I think he's a workaholic, but I think it's out of not having a life more that avoiding having a life. However, he had me drive him a couple blocks to his workplace and car. It was 9 and he was going back to work. He does most of his work on the weekends when it's quiet. Considering that he goes to law school two days a week, I guess the other days add up to a regular work week. Considering my visitation schedule and limited availability, it's fine. I couldn't stand a 24/7 romance anyway.

As he left my car, he sweetly kissed me on the cheek. I didn't feel it too forward. He was quite emphatic about talking sometime today. And we'd already made plans for him to cook me dinner on Wednesday night.

When that rolls around, I may even wear my jeans.

So inappropriate, but...

Victim Of Mall Shooting Determined Not To Die In Yankee Candle

This had me rolling. We all seek dignity.

PS - More tomorrow, but I survived and thrived.

My anxiety is leaking out

I am composing this Saturday, before my date, so I can remind myself tomorrow of what great insight I have after the date.

I am not completely comfortable about tonight.

This fellow, I will call him Glenn, is very opinionated and forceful about it where I am much more genteel. I will listen to someone carry on and I don't feel the need to pipe up about how much I disagree. At one point in a phone conversation, he said he's taken care of his larger issues and he has two smaller ones to clear up: impatience and jumping to conclusions too quickly.

I think it's nice of him to put those things into words so I can use his own words back at him so he'll understand my perspective.

During our phone conversations, I learned he is a recovering alcoholic from about 15 years back. He doesn't feel it's an issue, but when I mentioned this to my therapist, we simultaneously said, "there's always the dry drunk." I am pretty adept at recognizing a control freak and I see some warning signs.

Later, I mentioned that, not to label him or make him feel bad, but I seem to be an alcoholic magnet, a topic that has had vast implications in my life as I'd inferred when he first told me. Because he sort of blew me off the first time, I began to quickly develop the whole picture and describe my exFIL, ex finance...when he interrupted me (par for the course and he told me to tell him to stop, but I find that reverse interrupting irritating, too), to elaborate quite fully how alcoholism has affected everyone in our country and there probably aren't five people in the whole country who don't know an alcoholic. Of course, my goal was not to talk about the whole country and my point wasn't that I knew alcoholics, but that they had grossly affected my life. I never got that far. (For example, of the four men I dated last year, two were weirdo adult children of alcoholics and one was a barely recovered alcoholic/pill popper. The fourth I didn't get to know well enough to find out.)

Tonight I will need to muster up more backbone and decide I care enough to debate and interrupt back or just end it right here. He needs to understand that I am a storyteller. I am not usually long winded, but I bring together nuances and details to make my point. (I believe reading this blog would put him over the edge.) I take the winding path. He is not a details person. He needs the direct path, or perhaps he feels a need to direct my path.

I told him I don't judge alcoholics. Often I admire them for their strength and what they went through. Overall, I appreciate people who have had personal strife to overcome. My life has been hard, too. I could not identify with anyone having a perfect life, perfect outlook, and perfect family. They seem shallow, false, and ill reflected upon.

We've had other conversations where he talked about instances that I feel he judged people very quickly and unfairly, without perspective. In the same situation, I have had to respect the others' wishes and move on, even though it hurt. He seemed so flip about one recent relationship, significant enough in which he admits to having the beginnings of feelings, that he called it a two month waste of time. I told him that I am overly patient, my personal foible, and I don't nag, yet am deluded enough to think someone is going to finally come around after I tell them what I need once or twice. Each time, though, I learn something and I could never sincerely call anyone a waste of time.

I hope this goes well, but I realize I am making a case for it not going well. We'll see.

Saturday Scavenger Hunt: Reason

I'd like to know the reason this shy kid is cool as a cucumber in front of a crowd.


What's the reason kids insist that everyone put bunny ears on everyone else for pictures?


I hope the reasons for going on a cruise again, this time with my mother, hold water.


I'd like to know the reason he won't top that final hurdle and go from semi-black to black belt.


I hope the reasons for going outweigh the frustration of getting and being there.


I wonder the reason that this 5+ year old wonder cat wound up in a high kill shelter in Ohio, but I am glad for the reasoning of the rescue organization to transport him here.


Proud J still wonders the reason he got a G for Good (still better than an S for Satisfactory) instead of an E for Excellent for this four page children's newspaper project he did in school last year on the Greek Civilization.

What is the reason they go where they go? This is Spen.cer, who is now the mentoring big brother of B.eau, who is much, much worse. If there is a surface, B.eau must conquer it. I had a crew of floor and bed cats until he arrived.

I tag Tara for next week's word. Pick a better one than I did!

Um, how do I phrase this?

I have a friggin' date Saturday night!

It has been a long dry spell and I'm not sure if I'm more scared or ready.

He emailed me last weekend from the dating site and we wrote for a day or two, then have talked by phone a few times. The first time was for over an hour.

He works a flexible full time job and goes to law school, although that is down to two days a week. He's 52, divorced twice with no children.

We have all the right things in common, which is a relief.

We have disagreed on the phone and I find that a relief - a man with backbone enough to have a conversation and agree to disagree. I consider it carte blanche to actually say what I think and not be polite for the sake of things. We already discussed how we are not much for 'best behavior dating.'

Hopefully, we won't be snowed in on Saturday night. Hmmm, I wonder if he has a fireplace?

Scales and phones

I researched online for a new scale at discount stores and was surprised at how the prices had come down. My old scale was only about five years old, but it just measured by the half pound. It was over $80 at K-World. New scales now measure weight in 0.2lb increments as well as record % body fat and hydration level, calculating this for gender and age. Plus they store the numbers for up to for people. And they cost under $40.

I went to Wally's for my prime choice rather than order it online. Excitedly got it home to discover it had been opened previously and didn't have directions in the box. With all those features, I felt directions were a must. So I procrastinated a few days stewing over it, trudged back, and got it straight. I do hate nuisance trips to the parking lot and return line hell that is Wally's.

So today I got to officially use it for the first time. Last night, it seemed about right for clothes at the end of the day. This morning, without clothes and pre food or shower, it (clapping wildly!) seemed to weigh a little low. I am down 2.8lbs from last Thursday, which is a pound extra at best, three at worst. I am relieved, though. Best a little light than a little heavy for my psyche's health. I am going to revise my goal weight downward a bit. However, it sure was fun to break into the next decade.

My therapist yesterday commented about how much thinner my face looks. I can tell a difference, too, when I look down and have less chin sweating on itself. My jeans are a little looser, although that has lead to an unattractive tugging up on the jeans ritual. Four years ago when I first was going out with P and a few others, I remember feeling sexy and vital at this weight, plus being treated that way to boot. Perhaps my dysmorphic tendencies have gotten worse, but I feel anything but attractive. I need to hold on to the idea of seeking and achieving a goal for me to get the positive feedback I need.

Sorry. This post is as boring as it gets, I know. Mundane. Although my therapist yesterday commented on my unusually peaceful and calm demeanor yesterday, I think I have mostly been bored and bored with myself. I've been doing simple blog posts lately and yesterday I accused myself of phoning it in. I guess if I am going to do this every day for 14 months, there are bound to be valleys. As long as the valleys include weight loss, I'm guess I'm good.

Concert!

Not Hooter's, but Dick's

This had me laughing until I cried. Other than that, I would have been one to keep my mouth shut and enjoy the scenery.

glumbert - Does size matter?

Coming and going

As I sit here, I am skipping walking in the President's Day Parade with my women's organization. The parking, the waiting...it all sounded more like work than fun, despite it being a beautiful day.

Here are some human bagpipers to help celebrate anyway.



I hope J isn't too disappointed when he gets home in a bit, but we do plenty of parades. Not going also allowed him a bit more time with his dad, who was home for the weekend. Ex has orders for last week and next to stay at a post a few hours from here. It is exceedingly lame in that the retraining he is receiving uses the same slides he first saw 20 years ago. Our military is truly sad. He is due to ship out to some version of the great beyond in a week or so.

I don't know if they are considering this weekend to have been their last together for a while, but I am hoping so. After J saw his dad last weekend, I had a devil child Monday and Tuesday. Ex was appalled with what he heard by phone; J's doesn't act up for him that way. Aren't I blessed with such attachment by my son to me? (Yes, I am blessed and I am sarcastic.) I am gearing up for the same nonsense for this week. My therapist says sometimes it is harder on the child and the attached parent when the other comes back than when they leave. It was amazingly easy when ex left. We had no behavioral issues for two weeks. All I can say is I hope this coming back was less hard on him this go around.

A week ago when ex came home, J grabbed him, hauled him off to his room, locked the door, and staged a forced viewing of Pirates of the Caribbean, J's gift for good grades from ex's new wife that week. Ex was complimented. J declared a time he would not share. He's really good at wrangling to get what he needs, a mature personality trait I appreciate.

He's really a good kid. I just hope I can stifle my laughter in the coming days when he is acting the three year old and wailing under my bed. It is so painful seeing him act so stupid, yet knowing how much he hurts.

Escalation

B.eau, Spenc.er, and Syl.vie relax on the couch together. I am so delighted at having kitties touching that I must go get the camera.

Spenc.er surveys his domain.

Spenc.er cleans Be.au as Be.au reaches toward Sylv.ie.

It works. Sylvi.e cleans B.eau, too.

Be.au is in rapture as Spenc.er cleans himself.

Spen.cer acts as if he's finished while Sylv.ie is still hard at work.

Then, pounce! All this great foreplay makes Spenc.er amourous as Sylv.ie cries, "No means No!"

Saturday Scavenger Hunt: Temptation

Temptation for me right now translates into food. I had planned on walking through the grocery store and snap all the temptations I have to leave there. Because I forgot my camera, I regrouped and decided to do the lucious temptations I have here at home which are things I can/can't/maybe should eat.

Maybe...I'll lick the spoon after serving J a scoop.

Can, perhaps twice a day, as long as nosy B.eau gets to lick the lip of the container afterward.

Maybe, but do anyway... a sliced block with sliced apple wedges on Townhouse crackers for dinner. It is almost orgasmic.

Can - at only 75 calories per serving (1/4 of a container), it's even okay to slip up and eat a little more of this delicious stuff.

Can, although as the Gulpmeister, it's tough to stop at a reasonable amount.

Can - yogurt drink, cottage cheese, taboule, and tuna salad

Can't, although this is perhaps the best food in the whole world

Can and do often, despite how ridiculously expensive they are

By not doing the gooey grocery store temptations, I thankfully didn't put my blog into a diabetic coma. I also realize how many of my favorite treats and temptations are dairy. I think I get plenty of calcium.

I did my midweek weigh in Thursday and came up less that I have in 11 months. Hurray! It put me 3.5 lbs from my goal, pretty attainable by March 15. The bad news happened at my weigh in Friday, me wanting to break into the next decade down and sneaking in an extra session with the digital scale. Instead, the thing went boooooooinnnnnnnnng and would either measure me at 86.8 or 239.5, nothing in between.

I am now in the difficult position of having to purchase a new scale and having no reference point. Let's just say, if it weighs 3.5lbs less, I'll be happy. Otherwise, I am not sure how I can deal with it or jibe it with my overall goal. This is truly a monkey wrench. I am such a scientist, so specific about numbers ... okay, just let me go find something tempting to eat.

Reefer Momness

In a move to watch more TV lately and satisfy Spenc.er's couch fix, plus spend more time with my son, I have caught up on the world a bit. We've watch marathons of Little People, Big World and Jon and Kate plus 8. I have observed that in the world of TV, parents are mighty permissive, except that mean motorcycle guy. In Little People, Dad is a push over and Mom is more stern, but they both fail to get the kids under control. Bickering instead of discussing, Jon and Kate sweat the small stuff, yet snidely claim to be on the same page in their recaps. Actually, I wish I had a helper husband like Jon. As it is, he is chopped meat being beat on constantly. However, I would never allow cameras in my home. I can be a dictator from the comfort of my arm chair.

More TV - I'll add it to my dream finds while channel surfing - I saw Reefer Madness on IFC. I'd heard it was over the top, but I had no idea how manical it would be. Pot causes assault, murder, suicide, and insanity instead of laziness, underachievement, munchiness, and naps. One scene was hilarious in which a child (they called these older teenagers "children") drives while under the influence; he's hyper, wreckless, and having a blast clobbering the curbs and the man on the corner. Everybody knows you drive slow like a grandma while high. And you don't dance, arms and legs akimbo, because you're too busy being devoured by the cushions on the sofa.

[Jimmy finishes a reefer before driving back]
Jimmy: Let's go, Jack. I'm red-hot!
Jack: Better be careful how you drive, or the first thing you know you'll be ice cold.

That's some snappy dialogue there. And I wondered where Diablo Cody got her inspiration.

In a related viewing, a few days later I caught on the History Channel a show called Hooked and it covered marijuana and amphetamines. I didn't know that there was nothing was illegal about injesting what you wanted until about 1914. In the 30s, they sought to make pot illegal to get the pot-growing, pot-selling, competing-for-sparce-resources, lowly Mexicans deported; it was the racially-motivated push of the southwestern states and they finally succeeded in 1937, the year after Reefer Madness came out.

In fact, for a short time in the late 60s, due to Timothy O'Leary's influence, reefer was legal. Then a comprehensive act came out in 1970 making everything illegal.

Although I'm not an activist about it, I don't think dope shuld be illegal. I think it should be regulated and enforced like alcohol. From my personal dabbling, which of course mostly made me paranoid and nap-able, plus that of others, I know it isn't a menace. Just like hanging out drinking alcohol too much, smoking reefer doesn't make you a loser. Losers create themselves.

The last time I smoked dope was July 1983 and it was with Richard. I was actually offered the possibility of it with a guy I dated a bit four years ago. I'm not sure I would have done it if it had come to fruition, because the I take the responsibilities of parenthood too seriously, meaning I try not to get fucked up because being a mom is more important.

Have you ever seen Reefer Madness? Are you or have you ever been a pothead? (Just kidding. You don't have to answer that.) What do you think about legality? And what do you think of parenting as portrayed by Reality TV?

Almost Thongue-tied Thursday: Baby, It's Cold

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

Description:
Websites like Match.com allow sad, lonely women all over the country to invite pain and rejection into their lives with just a few clicks of the mouse.

Choice quotes:
With online dating, women can "destroy one's self esteem as easy as a click of a mouse."

It "occupies woman's attention to distract her from killing herself."

Choice pick:
If she's really lucky, she can meet this douche and have it forced upon her how wonderful he is.







You go, girl! Go! Go! Go!

Voluntarily unvolunteering

I got a call Friday evening. (Yes, I am so pathetic as to recieve a call at home on a Friday evening.) It was a political call, asking if I planned to vote on Tuesday. I said I would be, so then she asked who I planned to vote for and we found we agreed politically. Of course, her next question was about me volunteering Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday for an hour. I said to put me down for Monday morning, then she got my email address so they could follow up. She said it might be handing out flyers at a shopping center, placing calls, or a few other things.

Saturday and Sunday, I checked email looking for instructions. I even went through the junk mail box. By Monday morning, when there was no word, I figured they didn't need me.

Then PMS hit Monday afternoon.

Wonder of all wonders, I got a call Monday night, confirming me for phone bank duty Tuesday 9-12. I told him it was news to me and I explained what had happened already. I told him I could not do it on Tuesday and he came back with a plea for how much they needed volunteers, but I declined.

I wasn't doing anything Tuesday morning. I was just pissy, not wanting to be around people, not liking the change, and definitely not wanting to deal with my nemesis, the phone. So, it was best I declined, although I'd have felt very guilty if the candidate had lost. Instead, it was a landslide and they didn't need my cranky ass anyway.

Dry day

I'm in a mood, have been since yesterday, so I don't have much to say. Here are a couple links I've saved.

I think of blow jobs as instant face lifts. They do wonders for the chin especially. This selfish motivation is part of my willingness. I can't look at my driver's license without thinking of how I got to look that good.

Lo and behold, there are actually facial yoga movements that mimic the same. Look at them and think of giving a blow job. Just imagine how many of those real faces you probably produce: the bug eyes, the gag reflex, and the just get this shit over expressions.

Moving on.

Those of you who do feeds and received NetFlix, did you know there's a new release feed? I've been tracking it about a month. They release daily 1,4,7,2,96,3... new movies. The large haul is on the weekends, but it is quick to go through them, too. It amazes me how many wee kiddie movies that come out.

And I'll leave you with this vid which made me laugh, a miracle within itself.

Combating overeating triggers

I happened upon the following and thought it to be good advice.

Overeating Triggers

Dim lighting: The dimmer the lighting, the higher the likelihood of overindulgence, says a study from the University of California at Irvine. Why? "Brighter lighting forces you to be more aware of what you're eating," says Joe Kasof, Ph.D., lead study author. Beat it by: Sitting outdoors or near windows, using brighter bulbs in your lamps, adding lighting to eating areas, or moving to a brighter room.

Distractions: In another study, when women who normally watched what they ate listened to a taped detective story, they consumed more calories. Researchers suspect the story interfered with the women's focus on keeping calories in check. Beat it by: Clearing all distractions; let the enjoyment of the meal provide your focus.

Low energy: "When your energy's low, you may look for food to pick you up," says Robert E. Thayer, Ph.D., professor of psychology at California State University at Long Beach. Unfortunately, most people reach for calorie-laden treats instead of an apple or banana. Beat it by: Identifying your low-energy times of day and substituting other activities for eating. Take a 10-minute walk or a water-cooler chat break.

```

In comments recently, someone asked me what I am doing to lose weight. Of course, I am barely on this journey, but there are things I'm doing.

As I mentioned before, tea. Lots of antioxident tea. It keeps my hands busy. Of course, two of my favorites, blueberry and strawberry, have been discontinued, but there are still a few others.

Although I haven't had to use it, in the past I used to brush my teeth directly after a meal to curb snacking. I didn't want to mess up clean teeth and brushing declared an end to eating.

I coach myself that I don't want to treat my body like a trash can. If I eat past being full or if I munch on that last bit from J's plate, then I am treating myself like a trash can. It is a harsh lecture.

I have a goal of going to bed hungry each night. That means that I ate early enough and ate little enough to make it happen.

I allow myself to snack on trail mix or raw almonds, things with protein and a bit of fat that are pretty satisfying. I also snack on yogurt. Yoplait Whipped are like ice cream to me. They are very satisfying. I also snack on boiled eggs; I've been buying the lower fat/high Omega 3 + E kinds. Even Dole peaches feel like a real treat.

On bad days, I let myself eat whatever I want as long as it is diet food. If that means an extra apple, yogurt, egg, or dish of almonds, it's fine.

This past week, I had bad days that I didn't follow the rules and I don't feel good about slipping up. I weigh the same as last Monday, so at least I didn't gain, although I have weighed 1.5 lbs less (and more) midweek several times the last few weeks. For a while there, I wondered how I couldn't reach my 10 lb goal and now I am wondering how on earth I could.

Over the weekend, I bought our plane tickets to get down there ($800 - ouch!!) and I am thinking in terms of what clothes to bring on the trip. The cruise feels close and I sure would like more weight off as a gift to myself.

What I need to do is get to the grocery store and buy the foods I should have. That's been part of the problem. If I don't have an apple to snack on, then I will find something else. Like -- shhhhhh -- four chocolates in a little heart I bought for my son for Valentine's Day.

Speaking of which, I am really dreading Valentine's Day. Remember what I was doing last year? Calling my ex-fiance about his quickie marriage? Yeah, I need a whole grande heart of chocolates for that. Oops, I will not treat my body like a trash can. He's an overeating trigger for sure.

Cross-eyed, ponytailed, toe licking thief

Alone, either the picture or the copy, would have been too good to be true. Together they are a goldmine of (inappropriate? you tell me) laughter.



Toe-Licking Robber Sentenced To Probation
Man Gets Five Years Probation

MINNEAPOLIS -- A man was sentenced Wednesday to five years probation for robbing a woman of her keys and cell phone, then licking her toes.

Carlton Jermaine Davis, 26, was warned that he faces 21 months in prison if he fails to complete his probation.

According to a criminal complaint, Davis approached the woman around 1 a.m. on Sept. 9 as she was leaving work and forced her to put her phone and purse inside a bag.

Then he told her, "Now I'm going to suck your feet."

Saturday Scavenger Hunt: Inspiration

First and foremost, considering my curiousity last week, I wonder Daddy's inspiration for sending this gift this week.


Secondly, I hope to provide him inspiration.




The classroom environment is great for me to crank out work. This still life classroom set up is


the inspiration for this painting.


This picture of Sad!e, taken with a very old and cheap digital, miraculously was

the inspiration for this, which is much better than the camera portrayed.


Craziness was the inspiration for this project at J's school involving 125 5 year olds in helping to decorate a very long mural ... and a prime reason I became uninspired to donate so much time to school.





Painting outside is the best inspiration of all.