Thursday, March 05, 2009

Next paragraph

I talked to Bea after the session today. Per the kind recommendation in comments, I googled and found a list of ethical concerns and sent it to Bea. I don't think I needed to, b/c Bea had come to her own conclusion.

After their first session last evening, this therapist called her bi-but-mostly-lesbian friend and told her about her new client. She got the other woman's permission for the therapist to pass along her phone number, which she did and said the other woman is waiting with anticipation for her call.

Talk about therapist-client privacy being jeopardized. It makes me furious.

This therapist interjected a bunch of other personal stuff today as Bea talked, often steering the conversation toward her. Bea felt like she was trying to be a friend instead of a professional.

She wants Bea to come three times a week and Bea is not interested in that frequency; Bea is confused, but she is not a head case. I think it is a financial thing, not one based in need. Bea is a good journal writer and I started her on a private blog a week or two ago. This therapist wants her to write and bring it in, which she did. Last night, she wrote. Today, the therapist read and picked apart each word and nuance. It made Bea wonder why she'd even brought it in.

Bea felt like the therapist's questions were inappropriate, as in how she became a lesbian, to which Bea said she was born this way. She had a boyfriend once in the sixth grade and they punched each others' arms. Apart from her attacker, she'd never been touched by a man, but she is clear to say that she has nothing against men, unlike some lesbians.

The therapist asked how many times in a sex session she would have orgasms. Bea felt very creeped out. And Bea wondered how much of this info would go to the therapist's friend.

The therapist also said to dump me - again. Bea told her that I didn't take to how she categorized all bipolars. Bea explained that I've had years of treatment and am very stable; the therapist apologized for hurting me, but I would actually have to give her much more power if I were to allow her to hurt me. It's silly. I don't care what the therapist thinks, but I do not want her position of authority to influence Bea.

The strange thing to me is how the therapist is cuing on me, because the other women living around Bea have drugged and rapped her and have cheated on her. They all manipulate her. I don't like their hands in her pockets and Bea is very generous with money and ATM cards.

Bea's birthday is in a few weeks. She wants me to do something with her for a weekend. I suggested Memp.his b/c I have always wanted to visit and experience the blues first hand; it's not that far or that extravagent. She loves music and thinks it's a good idea. She said she wants her gift from me to be me singing karoke for her. I am the worst singer in the world. She is perhaps the best, the voice of my dreams. If it's what she wants, then I will. And I will laugh, b/c she is so sweet to crave something that I could actually give. She's not much of a drinker, but I would take a pass that night and have a few.

We talked for a very long time today and we are in a good place. I enjoy her very much and I know she craves the stability I could offer. I like her spirit and her eagerness. We are good together in many ways. I would like to take some time to find out. I am relieved to be unencumbered now.


Cricket said...

Oh, I forgot the part about the recommended new friend for Bea - she's perfect and has NOTHING wrong with HER!

Bea says she doesn't like perfect. I cannot fathom the gall of this therapist.

OHN said...

Just my two cents...she should RUN as fast as possible to a different counselor! While she is running, she needs to contact the department in her state that covers therapists and report her.

She has broken MANY of the boundaries set up in counseling!

Anonymous said...

Run Cricket! RUN!!!!!!

None of this adds up as far as I am concerned.

Debbie Does Nothing said...

Good for Bea for recognizing this is a problem. I agree with OHN - she needs to report this therapist.

Anonymous said...

ZOMFG talk about inappropriate?! Clearly this 'therapist' sees you as a threat...and to be honest, i/m of half a mind to agree w/Julianna...

Churlita said...

I don't know why she ever saw the therapist a 2nd time. I'd tell her exactly why I wouldn't see her again and then report her to someone so she couldn't practice anymore. She seems to be doing more damage than good as a therapist.

Val said...

I will echo what Julianna's saying...
while I want nothing but the best for you - if something/someone seems too good to be true, it probably is! Keep a healthy distance.

Brigitte Ballard said...

/gasp. She needs to find a different therpist. Wow.