Sunday, August 16, 2009

Old topic reborn

It's been almost a year since I brought up the topic of babies.

Bea wishes very much that we'd met several years ago. I could have been on the baby bandwagon.

In the past year, I have progressed past bandwagon to bandwhat? Of course, I don't coo over babies, but I largely don't covet them anymore, either.

Enter the multi-millionaire who can afford whatever she wants. She has a son through donor insemination and he's almost five. She wants another. She would consider a surrogate. She might consider her eggs. She just does not want to be pregnant again. She has a big heart and could love any child, to include an adoptive one.

However, if she had her way, she'd see me pregnant. If I were to be pregnant, I would have to use my eggs. My 47 year old eggs. Or she'd consider a surrogate. But I would want to breastfeed, which is best accomplished after a pregnancy.

She said if she got a surrogate, she'd want a live in surrogate who could be monitored.

She has a number of vials of the same donor semen. Still, she asked if I'd consider an African-American donor and I said I'd want another red head (as she carries on about what a pretty baby I made, who looks just like me), so she said her son's donor has red-headed children, too; this donor has had incredible success. If we were to do this, I'd prefer her son and the new baby to be half siblings together.

If I said yes. she would immediately begin the process.

How could I possibly let my guard down and hope again? It's too crazy. That wall was hard earned and built with blood, sweat, and tears.


laura b. said...

Wow, that is huge. I am 46 and can't imagine being pregnant again...but then again I did it five times...and I don't have a multi-millionaire for a partner (don't have a partner of any sort). That might ease the stress quite a bit :-) Very exciting to ponder, isn't it!?

Kellie said...

To be very honest - I'm really glad that I am completely out of the game now. I never thought I would say that, but after the last few years of trying to figure out who *I* am without my uterus being involved... I'm not sure I could do it emotionally. I have never ever felt more completely out-of-control and worthless as during those horrible ttc years.

However, it's possible it's easier for me to let go because my kids are older than J. The-boy is going to be 20 in 2 weeks ... 20! The-girl is closer to 18 than 17. Sometimes I wonder what the heck I was even thinking .... uggh.

I'm not sure what I would do in your shoes. I like the idea of you using your own eggs and her sons donor - making a half sibling to J and B's son. That would be my romantic choice - but then again, I whole heatedly believe that there doesn't have to be a blood connection to make a family.

Yuck. That's not an easy choice!

Val said...

Wow. Like Kellie, I also couldn't imagine putting myself through pregnancy/infancy/toddlerhood again at this age. ("if I knew then what I know now", I would have had Z when I was 10 yrs younger!)
But of course your mileage may vary - I know you're giving it lots of Deep Thought...

Anonymous said...

just a test

[url=]some blog[/url]