Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Self Mutilation

There was a massacre here yesterday. It occurred in the shower with an almost new razor. The razor won and left vile carnage so gross that it made my son pale. It was so copious that I had to use up all our large bandages, applying them in the hopes of not hitting additional razor burns near the more significant ones.

My only hope for social decency was to wear socks pulled all the way up and the only way for the socks to not display the bloodbath was to apply many Band-Aids, which thankfully covered most of them.

Today they itch, but I fear messing with the bandages, so I am spraying my ever loving Bactine where I can.

I won't be able to shave for a week, but I don't really worry about anyone wanting to come close to me with these horrific lesions on my shin. I threw away all of that brand of razors and purchased new for next time. (The thought of trying again makes me squeamish!) One can only hope that $7 more dollars will not be wasted.

Why is it that I can groove with one razor for months on end, then the next peels me like a carrot and they all come from the same package?


Yes, laugh at my expense.


PS - That's Sylv'ie's milk tab. Of course it's in the bathroom.

10 comments:

evil-e said...

Guys have more risk when it comes to new razors...we have to shave the face (no, not the face!!) Ergo, I have not changed brand or style in about 6 years. If it works, don't mess with it.

Your title is so metal. Fear Factory did a song by that title.

Well-heeled mom said...

Venus. I swear by that brand. Any other and my legs look like that, too.

Cricket said...

I'm metal. I feel so cool!

Venus is what I bought as a replacement - the disposable version, not the refill kind. Which do you use? Bic Soliel is what peeled me.

Now you see why I don't shave the nethers.

Gianna said...

Every razor I ever used cut me up until I discovered shaving under water. Now I can use ANY razor. I simply will not shave unless I can be in a tub.

Try it, I swear by it. I have not once cut myself since shaving underwater....the water is all the lubrication you need and you don't even have to be careful...I cruise up and down my leg with absolutely no care and never cut myself.

Before I discovered this method I shaved extremely rarely because I never found a razor that didn't cut me up.

Val said...

Now you understand why I do not shave ;-) !!!
Yes, I am one of those hairy-legged feminists...

Gianna said...

Val,
I only shave in the summer time and once a week at best...

In the winter I'm hairy too.

In my youth it was a political statement to never shave....now I'm just to lazy to get in the tub regularly.

Cricket said...

I shave just about daily and have never had soemthing so dramatic or traumatic before. I cannot stand the prickliness or ichiness of the hair on my lower leg - I am lucky that the upper leg's is practically nonexistant. Gianna, I do not bathe, only shower. Val, when I thought I was moving to Europe, I stopped shaving. The benefit of the break up was shaving again!

DD said...

Did you not stop after the first layer was peeled back?! Christ, that makes my ass twitch.

BTW: when are you getting that blog header re-do that you won?

brite69 said...

*shudder* I have a scar from where I made my knee look like your shin when I was in high school. From that point on, I've never used a girl razor. Only the manly ones. o_O

Hay! You've joined me in teh ranks as a metal chick! Now to get you to jump into a mosh pit with me at a metal show... :-P

NoRegrets said...

I would reallly recommend the 4 blade razors. It's amazing. I can use a new blade and push down on it, and nothing evil happens. So sorry!