Back to our regularly scheduled programming

I tried to prep myself and I told myself that I could read this without getting pissed off. Of course, that's not humanly possible.

The McCaughey clan is cuter than ever, and each child is asserting his or her own personality.
By Paula Chin

Slide Show: Septuplets Turn 7!
•
Slide Show: Septuplets Through the Years

My son was two months old when the McCaughey litter was born. It made him seem miniscule, an afterthought, in comparison. Little did I know at the time, that bitch Bobbi would be stealing all of our collective potential future babies, too.

Amongst many, I have to pick out these lines for a parenting missive.

These days, the greatest challenge for the McCaugheys is balancing their
children's growing need for independence with the desire to keep them close to
the nest. "They've made so many friends, they're always saying, 'I want to go
play with so-and-so,' or 'Why can't so-and-so come over?'" Bobbi says. "We can't
accommodate them very often. Kenny and I are very close to our brothers and
sisters and want to spend weekends with them and their kids."

There's also the siren call of team
sports -- and the risk of parental enslavement to schedules and
chauffeuring. Brandon, a natural at baseball, was dying to play, but after
careful deliberation, the McCaugheys said no for now. "It's partly because of
how much all the equipment costs and how it would cut into family time," she
says. "My dad didn't allow me or my five siblings to do sports for the same
reasons."

WTF? Fundamentalism gone awry? Shoot, I forgot, they call it, "family values."

Do their kids not deserve a life outside of the parental sheltering gaze in order to pursue their own lives and interests? At least they're not locked in the closet and they do attend, gasp, public schools. However, with the title of the piece doting, "each child is asserting his or her own personality," does that mean that no one has paused long enough to notice that before they were fucking 7 years old? Babies show personalities within minutes if you don't have litters.

Bobbi, be creative. Find yourself some kind infertile who will take your kid to baseball games. Or team up with another baseball parent who doesn't mind doing it for you. Cost shouldn't be an issue for anyone wanting to play, because scholarships are available. I'd hope to some misc diety that you could afford a $10 glove, b/c that's all it costs. No other equipment is required. Better yet, recycle and borrow one from a neighbor, the coach, or a fellow church member.

Don't make paltry excuses. You really do want them in that closet, you greedy Sicko.