Friday, October 01, 2010

Accurate and timely

With the recent law suit crap, I felt the need to document many things. The Discovery I had to fill out for ex's lawyer was comprehensive. Although I do not think ex is necessarily a bad father, I do think I am a better mother.

There are many examples, but being on top of school activities is one. If you want to know what's going on at a school, or perhaps you want to compare schools, get on their email notification systems - even at upper levels of schools beyond your child's, at the district, board, etc. News comes to you. It's easy. Plus there are online sites for seeing their assignments.

My son's school is not the greatest in this incredibly great school district and I was royally angry we are assigned to this one miles father away than the closest one, but I am here to say they communicate so incredibly well. The other school, for which I get their emails, is so sporadic.

Ex has been too ignorant to figure any of this out. I even did subscribed for the school J would have attended near ex's house if that had happened.

Besides volunteering, football games, field days, etc, they give heads up about sex ed information reading/viewing/content. When J was in the fifth grade, I looked at all the materials and videos for both the fifth and sixth grades. Soon will be the same for Middle School.

I used issues like these to demonstrate that, contrary to the Discovery's probing wanting to indicate, I am not the wrong parent for a pubescent boy to have.

Last night I used it as a learning opportunity with J. I told him I'd be going 30 minutes early to back to school night, so he'd need to inform his father to occupy him there or to come by and get him after I leave. J already knew about the nature of the talk/video, because they communicate well with the students, too.

During our talk, he was leaning against me, but facing the other way, so I took that vantage (animals like these don't want direct eye contact!) to my advantage. It was the same when we'd have our best talks while he was a preschooler in the back seat of the car.

I informed J that I'd seen the family (sex) ed for his 5th/6th grade stuff, but he had not known. I told him that I didn't have any problems with what they were teaching, so I didn't want to interject into the experience for him. I told him I'd wished they'd gone farther, beyond the gamete beginning and the STD ending, wishing they'd touched on the act of sex more, but I figured they knew what they were doing.

I also said I figure they know what they're doing this year, too, but I need to see the stuff. I know some parents have trouble with it and opt out. Our Mor.mon neighbor, Norma, is this way with her nearly 15yo son.

Norma has discussed it many times with me. I told J that, for example, I thought they would be covering masturbation. Norma and her church believe that masturbation is wrong b/c if you can please yourself so well, your spouse will never be able to. Chime in with me: it undermines the tenants of a healthy and successful marriage.

Well, I will admit again that I did live that scenario. Of course, it was merely one issue with ex; he preferred his own morning pipe cleaning routine with beautiful 2-D harlots on the computer to anything relating to his 3-D wife. Without calling out his father, I told J all of this. I also said there's room for a middle ground in which it all can be healthy.

His father could never have such a talk and I am documenting mine here for future needs...if need be. My years of navel gazing have actually done me well. I had many things I had to prove with the lawsuit and it scared off his crack legal team. I do not know if ex read the stuff I'd included in my Discovery, but I would have if tables were turned. And then he would know that, at the very least, one can subscribe to email notifications from one's kid's school in order to be a better parent.

After the fact: they didn't show a video, but they had the teacher's manual available. Geez, it was the same as what I read for the fifth grade. They don't get to the juicy stuff until HS, but this year they did bring a contraception chapter into the eighth grade, although nothing else in the manual changed. I guess they figure that kids will figure out the mechanics if they tell them the other details. It makes me kinda laugh.

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