Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Ass or Beast of Burden?

When I took this picture over the weekend, I did not have an ulterior motive. However, somehow the title and subject seem apropos.

I emailed Ted yesterday morning, reminding him about the DVDs and what he owed me. I said there were probably more, but I came up with five things to write down. By this, I meant I recalled these items and I want it all to come to a close now, regardless of what I might be missing.

Imagine this. I bought and loaded him an MP3 player (we're talking hours of researching/downloading songs for him), a tire, round trip driving to another city (1 - when I didn't want to drive, and 2- was even big enough to bring his screaming ass home after that fight), fixings for the wine tasting in which I went out of my way to go to the store he specified, and dinner I brought over several nights. He actually asked for each of these things and specifically said he'd pay me back. I cannot fathom people who do not want to make good.

It was quite humbling to feel as if I had to enumerate such. It went contrary to my nature, but I knew it was the only way I'd get the money. Of course, I don't need "almost $100" that badly (I never put a specific amount); it is a convenient number, as it is about what my car's maintenance costs and I did put in a lot of miles going to his house.

The bottom line, though, is that I want the cheap ass to pay for what he himself offered and I fronted him with the idea that he would pay. And if he feels like a beast of burden, so be it. I suspect this is a lifelong pattern to him and most people don't make him own up.

My tone was business-like and succinct. No underhanded remarks, no cattiness. I'd hoped to set the tone for the anticipated exchange, but that didn't happen. Ted replied last evening that I dared to "ask for money" in a timely fashion (that he'd do it if and when he damn well pleased) and railed that I said there would be more, as if somehow I would be extorting him in the future.

He balked at what I'd listed, then curiously listed them back one by one that he should pay for them. The only thing he said he would not pay for was food I bought to take to his house on a couple Wednesdays - as in, "Go to the Chinese place and get us dinner ... I'll pay you back" bullshit. Okay, so I'll subtract $20 (my half, not his), but not without the statement in return that most adults would want to settle completely.

He'd written, "So I suggest you re-calc babe, and get back to me...if you are that interested," a tone quite unnecessary considering he was chopping a mere $20 off and agreeing to four of five things. It shows again how he thinks he is mirroring someone's statement when he is actually out in left field and clueless. That last phrase he wrote is quoting something innocuous I posted on the board when someone asked advice about something very general, but he's now of the mind to read and interpret it to be nasty. It's all so petty that it is mind boggling and I just want it over.

He is a small, little man. I am an irritation under his skin. Or maybe it's under his tou.pe?

He ended with, "What the hell, Cricket?" so I began my response with "What the hell, Ted?" and was sure to "remind" him about his promises and not "ask" for money, saying that reminding him of such does not make me a gold digger. I also said that my request for timeliness is because of his habit of "forgetting" or "procrastinating" when he's had since February for most of it, plenty of time.

What I did not say was that it largely dated from a few months ago, because I'd put an end to his habit. I stopped driving us or offering to pick up dinner on my way to his place in order to protect myself from his debt being worse. It became a tap dance and I would purposefully go to his house on an empty tank so I wouldn't have to drive. I had to devise ways around his cheapness, although I did contribute often: I did drive other times, take us to dinner, cover large portions/all of darts/beer (ya know, the first time he paid for a complete evening was only a couple weeks ago?), buy the three of us our drinks Friday (I jokingly said I needed to blow my $40 tax return somehow - but know how much he's getting - almost $3000 - and he could not see fit to buy my dinner?), proactively get restaurant certificates so dinners out would be only $10-15 total, and buy he and his mother various treats like Girl Scout cookies and ice cream. I expected him to be a gentleman and not treat me like a buddy, but it's not like I expected him to pay for everything.

Besides, one can only be so much a gold digger when dining on Chinese take out or at the likes of Apple.bees.


Klynn said...

I'll be amazed if you see a dime. It sounds like his cheap ass is going to find any way/excuse to get out of it. He knows that the fringe benefits have been cut off, why should he pay any more for something when he won't get any more reward out of it? Oh, yeah, guys like that think affection (both emotional and physical) can be bought and paid for. If he's not going to "get any" anymore, he's likely not going to pay you what he owes you. Smart, very smart, of you to have figured him out as early as you did, and circumvent his cheapness. I hope he pays up, and you can move on with a clean slate. *sigh* (((Hugs)))

Cricket said...

Yeah, I know he won't feel compelled to pay up. He has no gentlemanly bones in his body and is so low as to want to be financed by a woman on a fixed income. If he doesn't pay, then I'll tell him I need the MP3 player and the tire back - ha!

I will also announce his 50th birthday on the singles board in a few months. He won't tell anyone his age, but I researched him when I researched P. Actually, it didn't take paying to find his real birthdate. With his dishonesty about his age having what I see as a goal for dating/fooling 35 yo women, maybe I'll put a crimp in his style.