Friday, March 02, 2007

Pause = stop, right?

Biofeedback is quite comprehensive. They can wire something in and then wire it back out.

A couple decades ago in studies establishing effectiveness, they would take a couple hundred ADHD kids, program out the ADHD from their heads and behavior, then program the ADHD back in, only to finally get rid of it completely in the third phase. This was to show that it worked and it was not a placebo effect. Such unethical practices are no longer in place, as it is not too nice to dick with subjects like that.

Neurofeedback has had some interesting side effects for me. Perhaps it made me manic, or it was the cold medicine, or it was the thyroid dosage. It has given me headaches. It has made me sleep so hard I drool. It has also made me euphoric to the point of tears and relaxed to the point of tense knots in my back disappearing for several days.

Each appointment begins with an interview in which they ask for any effects since the last appointment. Lately, it has been headaches and/or relaxation. There are a couple relaxation wirings that hopefully will reduce my brain chatter and these are what they've been concentrating on, not the ADHD per se.

I'll learn in a few days if the last 20 sessions have helped the ADHD; I had a tiny bit of improvement after the first 20 sessions. If anything, I learned that I have to work diligently on being calm during the silly test (22 minutes in a dark room with a clicker and a dumb computer test, staring at the screen and clicking after specific screen changes - I honestly think any sane person would be considered ADHD) and not over-reacting when I know I've missed something. After my last test, the Ph.D. remarked that I do not handle stress well, according to the test, and that I do not perform well under pressure. Well ... duh! I have dozens of blog readers who could diagnose that at a distance! Now fix it, you sweet, but ditzy, over-educated genius.

Because they practically ask me my last BM in my self report before each session, this week I thought to talk about another symptom to the 55yo tech who wires me up each time.

I asked, "Can the EEG training cause night sweats?"

She began to giggle. "Nooo, Cricket. That's hormones."

I told her that for a few months, I've woken up sweaty between 4-5am almost daily. Some days, it is so bad that my pillow, Porky Pig jammies, and sheets are soaked.

Simultaneous to starting EEG, I got on bcps to control endo and regulate my cycle. Now I am wondering if they made menopause more acute somehow. What a double whammy - bcps and menopause while I'd rather be TTC. Insult to injury.

I just asked my mother on the phone about the timing of her menopause. Of course, hers stretched out over over a decade, although no other women in her family had things so drawn out. She began around my age, if not a bit earlier, and continued until her mid-50s. Hers severely affected her moods (shocker there!) and ERT really helped to stabilize her. Well, that and ever lovin' Pro.zac.

The EEG tech suggested soy protein, so I began taking that Wednesday.

It really sucks being old and infertile. And so juvenile as to have ADHD. Oxymoron, indeed.

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