Monday, November 27, 2006

Rains ... pours

My grandfather is dying of lung cancer. He found out over the weekend when my grandmother took him to the ER. He was not a smoker, however when one inches toward 90, something has to do you in, I guess.
I was very lucky to meet/know several of my great grandmothers, one even living until after I'd graduated from college. I lost my first grandfather when I was over 30. Very lucky, I've had three grandparents since then, although I've not been particularly close to any of them.
Of all my grandparents, this grandfather is one I like the best as a person. He is a sweet, gentle, kind person who has been hen pecked to oblivion by his wife. Grandparent-wise, I was actually closest to exMIL's father; we shared a special relationship and I balled when he died shortly before my own.
They're supposed to call the oncologist about my grandfather today, but not much is expected. At least he's not in pain right now; he's complained of a general malaise for some time and that's why she finally took him to the ER. He just plain didn't feel well and had no appetite.
I learned today that my grandmother had a triple bypass in October and my newly retired father has been spending weekdays at their home, his sister coming on weekends. Before yesterday, I had not spoken to my father in two years or my own sister in one. They frustrate me too much and I feel better without their influence, but I was thrown back into the fire yesterday.
My grandparents have been in decline for some time and my father is having my grandmother evaluated for A1zheimer's this week. It would be quite strange to me that both of my grandfathers die of lung cancer and both of my grandmothers linger because of A1zheimer's.
I hate this stuff, especially on the heels of my mother's dog dying because my mother went out of town to visit her sick brother. I don't want to go out of town and leave or even travel with my 18.5 yo cat; I have more loyalty to her than my own family. Norma offered to help while we were out on our walk today. I couldn't go visit my family for long, because I couldn't afford the hotel. It feels awful to contemplate a trip to your hometown and have no place to stay; everybody else has moved away except for my exMIL. She'd welcome my son and I, but it'd be so weird.
Okay, I'm not depressed. I swear.

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DD said...

I wonder if your horoscope predicts December as a month of huge change and upheaval.

If it does, remember that after the dust settles, there will be a new horizon to enjoy.

OK. That's way too deep and philosophical for a Monday morning, don't you think? Hang in there, my dear. Jump into the middle (even though I know you hate it there) with all your heart. You don't want to look back on this time when family should need family with regret. It will give you the out you need with Mr.Protectorfromhotteaguy.

Donna said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I'm also dealing with a sickness in the family (MIL) and it is really taxing, wondering if this is the last time you will see/talk to her. Take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry about your grandparents. Your family is in my thoughts.