I did two things in an EEG session yesterday - alpha-theta just b/c I'd done well it before and temporal lobe work which is relaxing. It did help. She also gave me four progressive relaxation cds and I've listened to the same one several times now; it seems to help. Got me to sleep last night.
I can only think of a few things that might be making me so nervous, besides chemistries I can't help, but feel very guilty for 1) having and 2) not being able to control. Oddly, suddenly having money from the re-fi and selling the ring makes me so jittery b/c I am afraid I will blow the money and be broke again. So I'm trying not to spend any money.
The other thing relates. I had to buy a laptop for the EEG workshop and I don't really want or need a laptop otherwise. I fear it'll be a $1400 waste, just as I fear my spaciness will make $1000 in workshop fees (and $1200 in software/equipment) a waste. Plus, I absolutely dread sitting in a chair for seven days.
I know these stressors sound minimal, but in my state, they are hightened in importance. Add to that the Dell computer I purchased yesterday from the outlet may not arrive until after half way through the workshop and I am a wreck. Remember for yourself, when Dell says 3-5 days free shipping, it means after they sit on the order 11 days first. All I could do was ask them to bump it up to next day shipping and, as I hold my breath, learn that the outlet should ship quicker than those being built.
On the good side, the event I hosted Wednesday went very well. There were eight of us for drinks, apps, and indie flick. It was relaxed and I think everybody had a good time and wants to do it again.
For those of you who might have forgotten, I feel my dating is limited because of disease, so I prefer to keep things in that realm. Dating clubs are common in most places. This one is pretty successful in getting people out and it is pretty easy to host an event. It's ready-made friends who understand.
Friends who understand. Who could ask for more?
I've come to the conclusion that if the computer doesn't arrive by next Thursday morning, I will go to the used computer shop and got a cheap laptop. I called today and learned I could get one for $400 that would probably suit my needs. I figure J could probably use it as his own or I could just take the thing back (minus %15 restocking) and not worry anymore. It's an option anyway that makes sure I have a computer for the workshop and it sure is nice to have money enough that it is a viable option. Not to mention that Wednesday is J's birthday! Or I could just return the Dell one when it finally comes - serves them right!