Saturday, September 22, 2007

Sugar kisses, not so sweet

After a good night's sleep (!), I will relate my Friday evening. I had my first blind date. Norma set me up with a guy she met on the LDS dating site. She'd talked to him several weeks via email, IM, and phone. He's not LDS, but he wants women who are "disease free," so he dates from the religious site. Despite this, Norma insisted that he and I are suited, so with me knowing she approached him about me and had "The Talk" for me before a date. What a switch!

They tried to arrange dinner for us next Wednesday, but I have plans with Dinner Ted, so I said for him to call instead. Well, he called Friday around 6. Not only did he call, he'd driven to a mall near here (he lives about 30 minutes away in the next state over) to call and I felt obligated to meet him, not at all sure, but having nothing else to do either.

Well, he looks like a guy from the Allman Brothers band, just not so neat. He's a Vietnam vet and scruffily looks the part. He has a series of three skull tattoos down his forearm.

I could not be rude and figured it was something to do, so we had dinner in the food court and saw a 3:10 to Juma, a solidly good movie. Russell Crowe was both dastardly and charming. Christial Bale was his usual flat self; the man has no inflections. It did feel a bit long, but that may have been the company.

On the phone beforehand, I'd told him how I didn't like physical demonstrations on a first (or second or third) date, so he politely asked if he could put his arm around me during the movie. I replied, "No, I am too wiggly and need to move around," when I wanted to say, "Your BO and bad breath would knock me over. Thanks, but no thanks."

So we watched the movie. He liked it less than I. Go figure. I figured he'd prefer a Western. Anyway, we parted in the parking lot directly after the movie was over, he gave me a gift he'd given me when I got there (a bee-shaped hand massager b/c he's pervy - even offered that he's uncircumcised sometime in there; Norma had not let on how many sexual references he insists upon) and handed over a DVD he'd gotten for himself, Pan's Labyrinth, one I'd raved over and wanted to see. Nice gesture.

He's a nice man, just NOT for me. Norma is crazy. We went for a late walk afterwards and I filled her in.

So, to review about affection on a first date, I was to have had dinner tonight with Sushi Man, but he never called. I'm not heart broken by any means, b/c he'd weirded me out a bit about the PDA stuff. He went to kiss me upon meeting me. He tried to hold my hand. He tried to put his arm around me. He tried to kiss me upon leaving. I understand he probably felt rejected, but he should not have been trying.

I like to shake hands on a first date. What happened to that?

Touch me and I cringe. I must feel comfortable to touch. A switch turns in my brain, then I am a touch-a-holic. Anybody else that way? I guess I am very sensitive about my body space.

So instead of feeling uncomfortable around a misc man, I am going to J's opening scout ceremony out in the woods this evening. I don't anticipate anybody but a sweet-smelling 10 yo will be trying to touch me tonight.


Well-heeled mom said...

I have never been on a blind date. Perhaps I'm not missing much, eh?

About the BO and bad breath thing - I just don't get it. I certainly know when I need to freshen up! Do these people have a bad sense of smell?

Klynn said...

Ugh. Nothing worse than unwanted physical contact. Please have some respect for personal space, until invited otherwise, guys. Of course I say that, and I'm a big hugger, especially when someone's done something nice for me. But even I can sense when someone else is uncomfortable with that.

Anyway the search for a suitable cricket-mate continues...

DD said...

What's wrong with just trying to get to know people...anyone who needs to be all touchy feely is definitely looking for one thing on a first day. Yeeach.

Val said...

Eek, the post-before-this-one reminds me to get busy sewing patches on Z's shirt!!!
But I'm sorry for your crappy blind date...Go read my latest to see why I don't want to let my hubby w/in touching distance of me this week -- at least a date you can leave behind!?!