Monday, June 04, 2007

Fuck you, Courtney

and the guy who called here from two states away at 1:04 AM looking for you.

It's four hours later and there's no hope for sleep, an escape I desperately need.

Contrary to what I thought last week, today is actually the one year anniversary of my engagement break up. I am weathering nothing well. With three significant deaths in the past few months and that other heartbreaking news, I am at wits end. Lower than low. And wearing it on my sleeve.

Sometimes I resent the weekends I have my son and have to be the mom, but it's so much better than being alone. I dread the weeks he's gone this summer, but am glad right now that it isn't going to be in the usual four week block.

I saw Waitress Friday night; I also saw the young, cute, flirty African employee who'd asked me out last summer. I grinned. From ear to ear. Then darted off. I felt so silly. That was a nice transition considering that on the way in, a guy stole my parking place and I had to park a mile away.


Except for it beginning with a POAS ceremony, Waitress was a very good movie. Keri Rus.sell was a tower of strength. My favorite relationship line in the movie was to this effect, "Let's stop this now before there's a body count." Billy, the crazy brother from Soprano's, was plum bat shit as her husband. The Southerner in me loved seeing Andy G.riffith be a cantankerous old man. Cheryl Hines was quite saucy, but I could not stop thinking about Adrienne Sh.elly.

Saturday afternoon, I went to J's scout advancement ceremony. He's so ambivalent about scouting in general, but she sure was proud when presented with his patch and new Weeblos stuff. It made me happy to see him vested.

Then I went camping. Fewer people showed up than I expected, but I am glad I went, although I feel like I had too much vodka and babbled too much. Guess I needed it. Brought my pastels to paint in the morning, but it began to rain shortly after I got up, so I was home around 8:30.

I felt down in the dumps all day, but worked productively on an online photo album project, and Norma called about walking. I declined, but she's good at pushing me when I need it. We walked in the mist. We walked in the drizzle. We walked in the rain. We walked in the downpour. We walked in the deluge. We got very, very wet. In our t-shirts.

For today's weekly EEG, I'm going to ask if they can just reverse the electric flow and fry my brain as a public service. One should not have to try so hard and fail at being happy.


h2o girl said...

Aww, sweetie, I am sorry you're so down. Thinking of you.

Ron Southern said...

I'd think of sending you something, but sending anything is not feasible, so you'll just have to use your imagination. Imagine a big (unscratched) BMW or other luxury vehicle. Why think cheap?!