Friday, June 15, 2007

Memory lane

If these aren't motivation to do a write up at a Damn The Asshole Boyfriend site, I don't know what would be. Of course, I'm generally wise about what I react to and I always tell you the process as I talk myself out of things. That said, this one year anniversary of breaking up followed on its heels by our two year engagement anniversary (and my 21st wedding anniversary the same day) and, well, I obsess therefore I am.

[image removed]
Smoke much?
[Damn, can't see her wedding rings.]

I finally joined in order to access her account's pictures. This is the stupid picture that was her main image. I know P did the chains and label, as he's the graphic artist type. It's odd to me, because he's not really the possessive, jealous type. Makes for a good joke. A good redneck joke. Where's the beer can?
The caption for the picture said 'to my loving and sweet bride,' (how blase is that for a newlywed? he always called me gorgeous and sexy) to which she added that it was uploaded by her new husband. So, that means he obviously knows about her and the things I knew during our phone call had to have been known by him. When he was incredulous about how much I knew during the call in February, he shouldn't have been. I'd assumed he didn't know about her, but then here he is contributing. He's being the big dummy not monitoring. Man, wouldn't that be a great twist? He doesn't pay enough attention and she cheats on him?

She has not written in my-space since before I found it. Norma thinks perhaps he asked her not to after I confronted him in February for some reason other than my confrontation. She has edited it, though. Her entries are private, only accessible by her, anyway, so there's no need to fear me there. The site doesn't have a counter, so she doesn't know who comes by. (Norma also thinks they are feeding me crap, setting me up, because of what's going on which Shancy's daughter's website, below, but the dates make that impossible. Norma is even more paranoid than I.)

The thing to fear, however, is how I'd misjudged Shancy as a mother and a person. I saw her as vulnerable (greatest fear: being hurt) and loopy in a newlywed, gaga way. Instead, it seems that she's

For the above picture, her daughter saucily provided th only comment, saying that she, "her fucking daughter," took this awesome picture in front of her shower curtain and it was before the daughter partied hardy and puked all over the place, messing up the bathroom that evening. The girl is 16.
The daughter's just came open from being private. One can only wonder her purpose. The girl proudly proclaims and writes about her belief in wh,ite sup.remicy and wh.ite po.wer in terms that are scary and inflammatory.

She also lists her occupation as half time drugger and full time dick examiner. She repeatedly touts sex, drugs, alcohol, and rock and roll as her only passions, well, beyond how superior wh-ites are, that if there is a BET, there should be a WET. Does she not realize how funny and inferior she is?
I figured out that she doesn't live with Shancy, but Shancy must have moved to this tiny town to be with her. Judging by the daughter's HSs listed, Shancy always lives by her, if not with her. Ths HS the daughter attends is the same one as L and they are in the same grade. (I can't figure out the daughter's last name, but I guess she's relatively tight with her father, so she has his surname. Shancy's 23ish yo son, who also carries on about partying and is a band guy, carries her maiden name. Shancy would have been around 21-22yo when she got pregnant with him.)

So, her my-space is open for her mother to read...her mother, who probably bought the libations for alcohol-induced bathroom mess at Thanksgiving. Or purchased by P. Or P's mother. They're peas in a pod with this under aged drinking justified by their own proclivity for the bottle or can.

I had hoped so much that this girl would be a positive and sisterly influence for L, but truth is I think she's even worse. The glaring omission in her writing and friends list is the existence of a step sister, so perhaps that hasn't gelled yet - or maybe she's been through it before and doesn't get too close. The only reference she makes to P is in a comment for one of the pictures below, in which she apologizes for being so difficult when they were starting out. Imagine how difficult she'd be if she learned that someone was cheating on her precious mother.

[image removed]
Do they both have beer guts?

What an absolutely lovely wedding. Could she be more ill-fitted? Would it have killed him to wear a t-shirt underneath? He looks greasy and not particularly happy. In fact, he's not even looking at her. He's nervous, though, squeezing the living shit out of her hands. He subconsciously did the same to me, just hanging out watching TV. Why is he slouching? He usually stood so tall. Is he confident about this?



Stop the fucking presses ............................. Jesus Fucking Christ on a pogo stick!

Last Spring, I spent probably $300-400 at Marshalls for nicer work clothes for him. That's another thing I'd been pissed about - buying him clothes he cheated on me in. It appears that he also got married in. I know bought him that tie and I'm pretty sure the shirt - while we were both fucking with him.

What kind of message is that? I believe I was at that ceremony in any number of ways. I wonder now if she was the one pushing.

I remember it now because the medium blue is electric and I debated the color. All I can say is that is was cheap and it contained his football team color, so that's his prime reason for wanting it or wearing it when I bought it.

Does he have the good graces to be conflicted at least?


There was only one comment on the wedding picture and this woman said something to the effect of "WOWWWWW!!!!!!" concerning this turn of events, so I am thinking that it happened so quickly that it wasn't announced anywhere before the fact. Heck, considering he was still professing his love for me a mere six weeks out, well, I guess he had a quick change of heart. Um, right. He's riding a gravy train with a house.

[image removed] Her face is tear-streaked and she's obviously as happy as she is homely.
I guess she's the influence for the mullet, a throw back to her HS crush days; I always clipped his hair short.

ETA: [image removed

For brite: this is the version I had. This is his mischievous look, me taking a naked picture of him the night we got engaged. His look would vary in cuteness greatly. His smile is as electric as that blue tie. Guess I like them about the same now, too.

[image removed

Us on the cruise three years ago.

[Doing this edit screwed up everybody's comments. Sorry, will try to put back in.]
I think this must be in her new house she bought a year ago. That's a draw to her, a nice house (in the boondocks, shhhhhhhh I drove out there to see it) and a good job making good money.

I believe there could be an additional draw. What sort of person lets their teenager brag about drugs, alcohol, and use to excess? A parent similar to P? A fellow alcoholic?

See, I am beginning to realize with these two, a lot of what I could say at a Damn The Asshole Boyfriend site would roll right off of her. Why would she care if someone like me broke up with him for his family allowing his 15 yo daughter to drink in public?

But she would care about being cheated on, however.

BTW, I am shopping the engagement ring again to consign it - hoping to do the set and not just the center stone. I am curious what kind she got. Probably bought it herself. Goodness knows, most guys can't afford two wedding sets in barely more than a year.

I turned off the flash to capture the detail. This set is so amazingly gorgeous. And sexy.
I am waiting on more, but I have one online quote (I'd have to send the 1ct diamond in) for $1500-2000, which is actually better than the local place where they offered $1475 on consignment for the diamonds and platinum in two rings. If they only buy the center stone, anybody want a gorgeous and oft complimented Celtic-inspired platinum set for say $600, about 1/3 retail? It'd need a center stone and perhaps center prongs.

I need this purge. It'd be funny for me to buy EEG equipment using the proceeds from P's ring. It's only appropriate. One obsession would lead to another, which should then quash all obsessions.


Cricket said...

Klynn has left a new comment on your post "Memory lane":

Never mind the greasy look. Never mind that he didn't bother at least wearing a jacket. Never mind that she couldn't even be bothered to find an actual dress to wear. Never mind that you can see every fat roll on her side and her belly roll is as big as her boob. What I want to know is why the he11 is she wearing *white*???!


Oh, and that's an absolutely georgeous ring. I have a platinum ring with a 2 carat diamond in it (yeah, it's huge), and it was appraised at almost 10k. You should be able to get a lot more than 1.5-2k out of that ring set. Did I say how beautiful it is? Good luck in finding a buyer.

Posted by Klynn to Churp, Churp at Fri Jun 15, 07:34:00 AM

Cricket said...

Unfortunately, the appraised value or insurance replacement cost has almost nothing to do with what a jeweler will give. In fact, these are consignment numbers, because they'll be selling them cheap and the diamonds are 'used.' If I were selling them outright, it wouldn't be 2/3 those values.

Yeah, quickie wedding, no suit. He did have a suit before he gained all that weight - he wore it with me on the cruise three years ago.

Stop the fucking presses........

Jesus Fucking Christ on a pogo stick!

Last Spring, I spent probably $300-400 at Marshalls for nicer work clothes for him. That's another thing I'd been pissed about - buying him clothes he cheated on me in.

It appears that he also got married in. I know bought him that tie and I'm pretty sure the shirt.

What kind of message is that? I believe I was at that ceremony in any number of ways. I wonder now if she was the one pushing.

Klynn, I could not fathom wearing 2ct. My grandmother who just died wore one and her husband wore a 3ct. I swore when I was choosing the ring from P, I would choose somethiing smaller to not get in the way - my previous one was 1ct as well and it messed up art too easily. So much for my plan. I am female and greedy.

brite69 said...

Dude. That first picture. The one that says "Owned"? She looks just like my mom, who I apparently look just like. o_O Creepy. And P? Yeah... I totally thought he looked different. Like, I was picturing mulleted (I'm talking hard-core mullet. LOL) and far more greasy than he appears in the picture. Mind you, that's how I pictured him after the break up, he was far cleaner when I imagined him while he was with you.

I wonder how these girls don't feel weird about their parents knowing how much they party and whatnot. I know if I knew my mother knew about all the shit I did in high school, I would be appalled.

Cricket said...

I don't think they have the good graces to be appalled. That implies some morality.

I think parents are confused and think of themselves as friends. Hear of that recent case and the mom is in jail for two years? She supplied beer to her son's friends for a party. P and Shancy are no better.

Klynn said...

I wear the 2ct. ring on my right hand. My engagement ring is a 0.55ct, that was Bob's great-grandmother's stone, but I don't think was ever in a setting before. The 2ct. ring is one that the setting was found in his grandmother's house's attic, and the stone was either his great-grandmother's or great-great-grandmother's. Bob's mom put the setting and stone together and had it sized for me. It's a handmade antique setting. When "santa" gave it to me, his mother just asked that I wear it and not put it away or hide it in a box somewhere. So, on my right hand it sits. Here's the only picture I could find in my online digital photos. It really doesn't do it justice, because there are tiny diamonds and sapphires set around in platinum filagree in the setting. It's really gorgeous, and if anyone ever tried to steal it, I would lie my off and swear to the heavens that it was cubic zirconia.

Cricket said...

I can't tell a thing from that. Do a better one. I'd love to see it.

My grandmother's is a solitaire set in platinum or white gold. My grandfather's 3ct is set in a simple yellow gold man's style.

I usually like simple, but yours sounds spectacular. I also like the idea of actually wearing the piece.

Well-heeled mom said...

She is nasty. I don't really get why you'd pose for a picture in front of a shower curtain - especially one that isn't all about pink shoes.

Cricket said...

Around our house, only cats post in front of shower curtains. Sad!e's spot had been taken by Sp3ncer and I've been meaning to snap it.

She looks rode hard and put up wet to me.

Anonymous said...

That set is gorgeous. Pity that it's going to waste.

If you don't mind me asking, what size are the rings?

Cricket said...

They're smaller than an 8. I think they're something like 7.75 or 7.5.

Shinny said...

My dear, in my opinion and I SO know that you wait for that daily ;), you are better off without him. That picture of the two of you, he looks like he could be your dad. He looks old and you, my dear, DO NOT!!
Hope you get enough money from the rings to get your ECG machine.

Cricket said...

Our skin is light night and day. He used no sunscreen and I used 50. I think it aged his skin, as he's only 10 months old than I.

I know I'm better off without him. I even knew that when we were together. It's just that I treated our relationship with love, respect, and a very big heart, not expecting it to be ripped out my a heartless cheater.

Or is he heartless? Why would he wear a shirt/tie from me to get married? Norma thinks guys have no emotional attachment to clothing. I do not think this is the case. He would always get, for example, a touristy embroidered polo shirt to wear for after a trip is over. Clothing and their meaning are big to him, just like team apparel/hats are big, too. I'm sure he didn't ditch the signed football I gave him and she has no idea where he got it and its fancy display case. I gave him stuff all the time and I'm sure it's all over his new house.

Serves him right. I want him to be miserable. He's fallen into a life with her and I'd tried to carefully plan one for us. Alas, he's made his bed. Thank goodness it's without me.

Klynn said...

Sorry it took me so long to get a better view for you, Cricket. I had to wait til I got home from work to get the digital camera. Here's the best shot I could get of it. Stupid digital camera *does not* like to focus properly up close.

Cricket said...

That is absolutely gorgeous.

It reminds me of a poison reing, except the lid and compartment are the diamond. Neat design.

Thanks for sharing.

Kellie said...

Wow. Just wow. Oh so much wow.

I feel bad for the kids and though I never thought I'd say this to a fellow infertile - Cricket, I am SO glad you didn't have children in common. You'd be linked to him forever, and how could you trust him?

If the look she's going for his haggish - she's got it mastered.

Cricket said...

Hag, good call.

I forgot to say that my eyes look puffy and droopy in that pic because it was just after the "hate dad's gf" postcard incident and I'd been sobbing.

I talked to Norma this evening and she's so insistent that I find a good man, but she doesn't know where they hide out. I told her about seeing Mona the other day, Mona whispering mid hug that I needed to find a good man. I whispered back that she needed to find me one.

I keep saying that I suck at finding men. My therapist does not think that is the case. She thinks I give guys lots of chances, but I do so when my guard up already. I know they're a loser, but I think they have potential or I am essentially just playing with them. Thing is, while I'm occupied with them, I am not occupied looking for a keeper.

Yup, for the aged SIF, it is so difficult to think in terms of wasting my waning fertility on P. Truly what a waste.

Anonymous said...

Okay Cricket, you have got to give more clues on how I can look at the site on my own.

Cricket said...

As an attractive thought as that might be, I can't. In fact, I have become very good at adapting phrases so that they aren't easily searchable. Sorry, but if they (i.e. she) were to find out about all this stuff, I'd rather I got the satisfaction of telling them (i.e. her) myself.