Thursday, March 06, 2008

I'm even irritating myself here

I finally had my second date with Glenn last night. He finished his big projects this week at law school and was in cruise mode for once. He planned to cook, then bailed on that, so we went out to eat. Conversation was good. Dinner was good. I'm still not completely comfortable, though, for some reason.

We went back to his place where I met his roommate and his 18yo cat. He played DJ a bit. We had some lemon sorbet and blueberries I'd brought (Sharon's Sorbet is incredible, only 100 or so calories/per serving for many varieties, so slipping up isn't a catastrophe either.)

Me being unsettled is probably underlying tension from these pills. I did explain about them, how they made me tired, irritable, and my face break out. [Oh, did I tell you about the zit centered on the very tip of my nose? I wouldn't have wanted to look at me all night! I considered canceling, then decided to be a big girl.]

Anyway, it was going on 10 and I was tired, so I said I'd be leaving. I'm not sure what more he was expecting from me. He took it that he did something wrong and I told him that I was unreasonably tired. I told him that if he'd done something, I'd tell him. But he was still uneasy. He left it at me calling him.

There was lots of traffic coming home due to construction. I got home and began my Wednesday night chores to get ready for Thursday's trash day - changed two litter boxes and that certainly woke me up. Glenn called a little later to make sure I'd gotten home okay. It was a sweet gesture. I emphasized again that I was tired and knew I needed to drive.

I think he's reassured, but I am still at a loss.

He leaves next Tuesday to visit his mother, who is ill. Before he returns, I leave for a week with my cruise, then the next weekend, I have J. That puts it many weekends away before I see him again, unless Scouts yields and we can do a Wednesday night.

"Oh," you say, "but what about this weekend, Cricket? You're free." Well, he wants to do a week's worth of work (they kinda use productions quotas, so numbers are tracked and work can be done whenever) over the weekend, so I'm thinking he'll not have to take vacation.

I don't feel the ability to shimmy into his schedule. He changes course, tap dances, cancels, then comes through on almost everything. I am so incredibly flexible, but it is plucking my nerves. He had a dozen different scenarios for last night, but chose a different one when I drove up. I do crave some structure and some sense of being wooed.

As another example, I told him I'd be going to J's scout banquet Friday night. He asked when it'd be over so maybe we could do something afterward. This seems like something you'd do after dating six months. Sorry, but it didn't sit right, just as it bothers me he went back to work after our first date - he drains the specialness out of things in this early dating process. I'm honoring my son that evening and want to leave it at that. It's okay with me to be done with the evening at 9pm. I'm a mom, for goodness sake, not a teenybopper. Because he'd asked, I then said the rest of my weekend is free. Ohhhh, he said. He'd be working all weekend, 16-18 hour days. It bugs me that I am supposed to be so flexible and he so inflexible. But, knowing, him, he will change his plans at the last minute and want me to do something and I will decline again.

Really, he is a nice man and I am a little snippy these days. So I am getting this out of my system. Don't hold it against him exactly. I think he is lacking in some social graces and he's (perhaps inadvertently) making it clear he has many priorities above me. I'm trying to figure out if he's a workaholic or a lonely guy using his time to the fullest.


Anonymous said...

oh dear,
I don't envy you. figuring out this stuff while dating is soooo difficult and exhausting. And I have absolutely no suggestions that might help you out. I wish I did.

I do always wish the best for you.

Anonymous said...

Nah-- sounds like a workaholic. You're right to be annoyed with the changes up to the last minute. Options are good, what's up with him is ridiculous.

Tara said...

Well I did like the fact that he called you to make sure you got home safely. He also sounds like a workaholic who is kinda-sorta trying to be social but is doing it the wrong way at times.

I'm glad that you declined on your son's banquet night. You get a good mom award. :)

Aunt Becky said...

Yucks. Mr. Yucks.

laura b. said...

Just from what you've said here, my guess would be that he is a genuine workaholic hoping to find someone who is willing to squeeze into the spare hours that he has. You just have to decide if that is enough for you..that is just how it looks from here.

Anonymous said...

You both are busy. His and your schedule are duking it out right now. Let things settle a bit, calm down (I know you probably hate that phrase--Renee does as well), and let things fall into or out of place.

He seems to anxious to see you to not care. He is actually trying to make time for you. So often I have heard from female friends that their guys never have time for them or will not bend their schedule for them. He might be a work-aholic, but I can see some genuine characteristics from what you type. But, that is just me.