Wednesday, November 21, 2007

It's a mothering thing

I broke down and bought a turkey breast that wasn't even 5lbs Tuesday afternoon. Got some canned yams to mash and sprinkle with pecans/brown sugar, J's favorite side dish in the world. I also got some refrigerated mashed potatoes and jars of gravy. And canned green beans, which I eat the Southern way with diced tomatoes like my G'pa who died a year ago. And an apple pie with his favorite of all favorites egg nog and egg nog ice cream. That child lives on egg nog through the holidays.

This might possibly be our most processed/pre-prepared/canned Thanksgiving ever, but it will be something I made for us at home. I was feeling tremendous guilt about this holiday.

My history...
7 years ago: ultimately a very nice holiday spent with ex after he wrote/surprise attacked me with a spontaneous draft our separation agreement that Wednesday when he left for work and was going to hide out out of town, but I told him not to be so skiddish, that I was happy/relieved to receive it - he was giving me money I never anticipated!
6 years ago: spent in SC at my sister's w/J
5 years ago: w/out J, spent at the family of a boyfriend during our 3 months of togetherness; too bad I liked his family better than he
4 years ago: flew to my mother's in FL w/J
3 years ago: cooked at P's w/o J
2 years ago: cooked at P's w/J
1 year ago: cooked at Crazy Luke's and Norma came, no J

(By the way, they all feel like yesterday.)

Although I'd taken a few years off, I've cooked the last three years, enjoyed doing that tremendously, but it kinda took a man and a relationship for it to happen.

My guilt is because I don't want it to take a man and a relationship for me to cook Thanksgiving for my son. I rarely cook as it is. He is deserving of Thanksgiving on his own. Not cooking, whether he cares or not, would short change him in my eyes. He isn't less significant than any man. By far.

So there. I am going to cook a turkey so small that only takes 90 minutes and we will still take in Fred Claus and/or Enchanted and/or Crazy-Toy-Story-Emporium movie. Sounds like a plan.

ETA Tuesday evening: I forgot cranberry sauce, so asked J to walk with me to the grocery store after school. (It is so nice to have two grocery stores within walking distance during rush hour!) He decided that he'd rather have pumpkin pie, with whipped cream, of course, so we got a few extra things.

He also balked at pecans on the sweet potato pie, but I don't care. I'm going to make it like my last remaining Grandma.

He goes to his father's Wednesday night, then I have him for the rest of the break. Joy. Pure bliss. I love my boy.


Anonymous said...

these holidays are a lot more complicated/involved/weird/emotional after divorce with kids, aren't they?

This is my fourth, counting the one where I went to X's family because no one knew we were separated yet and the next day I had to make him leave the house.

Nice, huh?

No drama this year (scheduled, anyway) and the boys are with their dad.

Have a wonderful feast with your boy. Make good memories.

Cricket said...

You know, as high as the stats are for divorce, I feel very alone with this. It is probably in large part because I am not so lucky as to be remarried, but I find that people take their spouses for granted so much that it breaks my heart.

I do not know what I'd do without my kid.

brite69 said...

I'll be working and the boy will be with his gramma (his dad's mom), so I know he'll have a good Thanksgiving. My mom was gonna bring dinner up to the base tomorrow, but her purse was stolen from her office this morning, so that is now a no go. I think there might be left overs from the dinner at my gramma's, though. At least I'll be earning double time.

Cricket said...

Double time! Now that's a nice bonus. It'll be handy in the coming month for sure.

What would we do without Grandmas?

Anonymous said...

What no stuffing for the boy?
It is my favorite.
Yes, you do not need a relationship with a man to cook for.
You are cooking for the right "man", J.

Well-heeled mom said...

Every holiday is better with the child in your life. Have a great dinner - it sounds wonderful and stress-free.